Feeling worthless and useless (appearance issues)

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Looking at everyone around me, they’re all so beautiful. People at stores, people on TV, people I see daily. I wish I was normal like them.

It doesn’t help that I’m related to someone that’s practically a model

My cousin is beautiful. She’s the popular girl, perfect hair, lips, eyes, you name it. Whenever I’m around her I always feel like I’m not enough, that I if only I was like her, I’d be happy.
Of course, she treats me like the worthless nobody I am. And honestly? I can’t blame her. Standing next to her, I look like the worst person on Earth. She’s the standard selfie-obsessed boy-crazy teen- and if I looked like she does, I’d probably take a ton of pictures, too.
I’m the oddball. The one that seems more immature, ugly, and just altogether, well, worthless. Anyone would pick her over me.
Point is, the way she acts towards me and her generally being better than me makes me so insecure it sometimes gives me panic attacks

I’ve gotten to the point of not wanting to leave my house purely because I hate the thought of forcing people to look at something as disgusting as me. I’ve thought about committing suicide just so that I can stop feeling this way, and stop being a burden on the people I love.

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I’m so sorry that you have to take in so much hurt. I felt so much of this as I was growing up, through my teens and most of my adult life. I have watched so many around me that I am close to be more successful, look better, be skinnier and achieve all of these great things. And for so long it left me feeling trapped, worthless, useless and like a nothing.

None of this is true. You are not worthless. You are not disgusting. You matter. You have value. You are important! Despite what those in your life have made you feel like. These things stand true.

You deserve to be loved and treated equally. You deserve to be surrounded by people who support you and lift you up. You deserve to be reminded every day of the value you carry and how much you matter.

I care. We are strangers but I care. And I’m sorry that people have been so shitty.

Stay strong my friend

  • Kitty