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Feeling worthless but not hopeless

Ugh! I’m trying so hard to get into a rehab facility but I have a child and no one to help me while I’m gone…I promised everyone that I was going to rehab because I had everything worked out for someone to take care of him while I was gone and at the last minute they had to back out…it wasn’t their fault…unfortunately it was circumstances they couldnt control but now everyone that I promised that I was going to get help is looking at me like I am a liar and telling me that I will never get help and that I’m lying to myself and everyone else and will always be a worthless alcoholic…it has me so depressed and feeling helpless and completely worthless…it hurts me so bad because I have struggled with this for so long in complete silence…opening up about it was the most difficult thing I have ever done…I feel so blessed to have heart support and this community that has given me a non judgemental loving outlet where I felt comfortable finally talking openly about being an alcoholic. I have no idea what to do or where to go from here…its so heartbreaking…I feel so helpless and not having anyone who is willing to help, aside from everyone here, no family and no friends willing to take my kiddo for 30 to 90 days so I can go and try and save my life has me feeling like my life is completely worthless. I have been told by doctors that it’s not optional… I have already done so much damage to myself from years of heavy drinking that I have to get help…my life depends on it…I dont want to die. My child is my life and there is not anything I wouldn’t do to ensure that I will always be around and be able to be there for him. I’m just so lost and overwhelmed right now and the depression has completely taken over and made it very difficult to refocus and formulate a new plan where I can get into a facility and begin the recovery process…I’m sorry if I sound like I’m rambling and my thoughts seem disorganized. Please if anyone knows of any resources or anyone that I can get into contact with to get help with childcare while I’m in rehab it would be greatly appreciated…i know there is help out there I’m just horribly depressed, completely overwhelmed, feeling worthless and incredibly lost however I do not feel hopeless and have not given up. I just need help getting refocused. I know I can do this and despite all of the setbacks and all the negativity surrounding me i am still motivated I just need a new starting point . Thank you in advance to heart support and all of the community! I know that I am the only one who can take the steps needed to fix this but having this community to help guide me is a blessing!!

Oh wow, Adalynarcher, I’m so sorry that you’re having problems finding childcare to take this massive leap of faith in your life…that’s brutal to feel like you’re || this close to going and then WHAM you’re set back so far and have no idea how to find a way forward. Honestly, I don’t have any practical resources to offer you, but I pray that God would make a way when it feels like there’s no way for you…that He’d find a way to take care of your kid so you can take care of yourself. It’s okay if you’re not into prayer / whatever, I just have seen it work in my life and hope that it will work in yours as well. In Jesus’ name, I ask these things on behalf of my friend, Adalynarcher.