I’ve been fighting with mental health issues and alcohol use for a few years now. Finally it all came crashing down and I was just released from jail and now starting much needed treatment. However the mother of my children and my significant other for 13 years has finally had all she could take and started seeing someone else. She says she still loves me and wants to help me but I just don’t know how to manage all of this at once! Any suggestions would be great!!!
Hi @Ec3883
First off congratulations on getting the treatement you need. It is very important to get help. When it comes to your significant other I think there are many ways how the situation can turn out. She might find another person she loves and she might not. And if she finds another person they might not stay together. You have no control over how that will turn out. What you have at least some control over is how you will turn out. You need to work on yourself. Work on that now. You will deal with other stuff when it comes up but right now this should be your priority. When you will stabilize that you can focus on other stuff.
I hope this had helped at least a little.
Bye for now.
hi @Ec3883 ,
first off, welcome to the heartsupport community, my friend. i’m thankful you’re here and could voice your story and receive support.
i’m very proud of you for pursuing treatment. how is treatment going for you so far? i also want to say that i’m sorry that your relationship with your partner of 13 years is in the state it’s currently in. having her say she still loves you and wants to support you in your healing must be a bit confusing for you as she’s in another relationship now, but i’m glad she still wants the best for you.
since you asked for suggestions, the best advice would be to focus on yourself for now and becoming the best parent to your children as you can. everything with your significant other will repair on its own as you continue your treatment and bettering yourself. think of it as a chain reaction where prioritizing yourself will lend itself beneficial to your other relationships.
wishing you all the best of luck through treatment, Ec, and i look forward to hearing any future updates you’d like to share!
love,
twix
@Ec3883
Hiya, Thank you for posting here and welcome to Heartsupport.
Its good to meet you. I am sorry you have had such a lot to deal with but congratulations for taking the steps to get treatment, that is brilliant.
I am sorry that your partner has decided to see someone else, it is sad when a relationship ends but you both have wonderful children together so this is the time you have now to focus on yourself on your mental and physical health, to get well to get strong for you and for your children.
You do not have to do this all at once, take it a day at a time, You didn’t mention what treatment you were getting but therapy is good, talking is good.
You say your ex still loves you? who know what the future holds for you both. but for now please be kind to yourself.
Your children need a happy healthy Dad and you deserve a Happy Healthy You.
Stay in touch with us.
Much Love
Lisa
Hi Ec3883, the other day I did a creative encouragement stream on Twitch and I made you something. I think you that it is so awesome that you are getting the help you need and I would just encourage you to do some self care and focus on your healing, It will be hard but, I know that you can do it. I believe in you.
I made this thinking of you and I would love to send it to you free of charge. If you would like it, please message me back here and I will get you an email address and we can go from there.
Thank you Ec3883 for posting. Please join our social media pages, join our Discord, come visit us on Twitch. We would love to hear from you and hear how you are doing.
Take care,
Megs
Hey @Ec3883,
Well done for starting this treatment and acknowledging the fact that you need it. It takes a lot of strength to come to that point of acceptin help when we are struggling. It is a time when we acknowledge our possible mistakes and are willing to learn from it, so we can finally take care of ourselves. We’re very proud of you for seeking the support you need and using these resources. That’s a huge step right there.
I’m so sorry though to hear about your partner seeing someone else. 13 years is a considerable amount of time and definitely a huge aprt of your life! As you said, it’s a lot to manage all at once. It seems that there is still love between you two though. You care for each other. It is possible that she was trying to fill some needs that you couldn’t at the time, with someone else. That doesn’t necessarily erase love or would prevent you both from being together again. But you might need time, both you and her.
Do you think it would be possible to have a calm conversation about all of this? Just to clarify a bit the situation and agreeing on how is your relationship in the present moment. I understand why the situation might be confusing and raisees many questions. Through communication, there might be a possibility to clarify all of it, and eventually start again to walk towards a shared perspective.
In the meantime, make sure to take care of yourself too. You’ve been through a lot and I imagine that the transition between jail and daily life is going to be full of things to address that can be emotionally taxing. So, take it easy. Step by step. Make sure to reach out as well whenever you need. You’re not alone.
This topic was automatically closed after 365 days. New replies are no longer allowed.