Finally cut my mom off

So I finally cut my mom off this morning. I decided to “trial run” how I’d feel not talking to her, so I didn’t talk to her for about two months and I noticed a HUGE difference in my anxiety, depression and overall just mood and mindset.
I wrote out a message to my dad, sent it, sat there pretty much catatonic for a minute mainly out of shock that I finally did it, then blocked my mom. I honestly didn’t want to talk to my mom or send her something, there’s no use and it would only cause more harm, honestly.
I think now I’m just scared of how they’ll react. I’ve distanced myself quite a bit, didn’t even give them an address for where I live or anything, but I just don’t really like talking to any of them anymore. I think they may not be used to me not reaching out or making major life decisions like I have been making (like telling them in not Christian) and I’m afraid they’ll take this as a sign that I’m in danger or something, only because I don’t communicate or go into great detail of my life. Does that make sense?
Honestly, I’ll probably post here a couple times today and tomorrow just because I’m very nervous and my boyfriend isn’t around today and part of tomorrow and trust this community like family. I’d appreciate any ongoing support and love if you’re willing to give it, I honestly am still shocked that I went through with it.
Also wanted to say thank you to everyone who has constantly shown me support during this. Every message has been extremely helpful and has made me feel so much less alone and much more seen and heard. This has not been easy at all for me and having your support has helped tremendously, I can’t even explain how much you’ve all done for me❤️


Also, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do now…my boyfriend said to wait till tomorrow to reply so he can be there for me. I really don’t want to call or talk on the phone. Yeah idk what to do now

try to do some self-care, a fun activity, meditate, gaming…

you took a huge step in establishing a hard boundary, and going NC. It will take a little time for you to get used to it too, I’m very proud of you!
You deserve a treat and the most excellent day. Keep taking care of yourself, and I hope this helps your mental health and you feel emotionally and even physically improved after it!

We’re here for you, as you adapt to this new “normal”. You matter :slight_smile:


I’m proud of you. Now it’s time to start your life and live it the way you want. Free. :hrtlegolove:

This was a huge step towards healing.

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I wish you the best and that you may have peace.


I read the update where your dad replied. I’m really happy to hear that things had been going a lot smoother for you since not talking to your mum. I know what having family who aren’t easy to be in healthy relationships can do. It doesn’t mean we hate them and don’t want better for them, but we have to want better for ourselves. Your dad sounds like he’s a peacemaker and wants everyone to get along and be okay, but unfortunately that can’t always happen. I think your boyfriend has the right idea of waiting until he can be present to support you. You don’t have to talk through anything alone without that support. I know you’re probably still in a bit of shock and may even experience a bit of grief, so we are here whenever you need

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From: twixremix

hey nicole,

above all, i’m so thankful your anxiety, depression, and mindset are better now that you cut your mom off. you’re taking care of yourself in the way you need to and that should always be your priority. please know your HS community is here for you always and unconditionally. please post however much you need because getting our thoughts and feelings out into the world is truly cathartic and healing in its own way. this is a huge milestone you’ve reached to make the choice at a better future and i’m so proud of you for this progress. wishing you all the best as you continue to heal and feel the freedom you deserve. hope to hear from you again soon on how you’re doing!


From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post, It’s a massive decision to cut a person from your life and im proud of you for taking such a huge step for your own mental health and wellbeing. I think if it really does feel so much better to not have a person in your life then that should absolutely be the case whoever it is. Life is short and you need to find happiness and peace where you can. I hope that you do have that now and that you can move forward. I look forward to hearing all about it. Much Love Lisa. x

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Congratulations on taking that step! You have no obligations to your mom just because she is your blood. I know you are an adult but I’m reminded of the quote “All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids”.
I’m glad that you did the trial run before taking that leap and that you saw such improvement. And it’s nice that you feel able to keep a little communication open with your dad just in case and that you see them as separate people. I read your update and I like that you told him you wanted to know a bit about what he would say so you can be prepared in case you do agree to a call which you absolutely do not have to do.

Congratulations again and I hope that your life continues to improve now that you have taken this huge step :hrtlegolove:

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