So after struggling for so long I finally landed a good job that I actually like. I had been stuck for such a long time in a line of work that I hated that I didn’t if I could take a leap of faith and do something different. I started working in September 2022 and I reached my 90 days last week. I have good health insurance and trying to start pulling myself out of the hole I created. I’ve been able to at least come to a somewhat stable point since my mom passed in April 2021. I still feel a bit overwhelmed with my current situation because I wasn’t working for so long and now need to get my finances in order.
It’s taken me a while to start feeling comfortable with interacting with people again. I was so isolated that I didn’t know how bad my interpersonal skills were. I’m 90 days in and just now up to joking around with my co-workers. I’m an introvert by nature but it’s been rough getting used to talking to other people again. My co-workers are having a gathering on Saturday night at a local video game bar. I’m going to take a chance and hang out with them outside of work. I’m super anxious because I think my co-workers think I’m weird. On most days I would just keep to myself and avoid talking to anyone except the person that trained me on my current job. Everyone at my job knows each other and I feel like an outsider. Reminds me of high school with all the different social group that form. I don’t feel like I fit in but it’s more of my insecurities making me think that I’m not worthy to have new friends. As much as social gatherings make me so anxious, I’m going to try to be social tonight. I’ve talked myself out of going so many times. I just don’t want anyone to think that I’m unwilling to participate. If I plan to work with these folks, I need to find a way to relax and not feel intimidated by them. I’m worried that they think I’m not a good person. It’s probably just in my own mind but it can be paralyzing. I’ve lost all my friends over the years because I isolated myself so much. I want to have friends again that I can hang out with but my brain keeps trying to sabotage my efforts. Wish me luck!
Congratz on your new job! I’m proud of you for getting away from the job you were stuck in and finding something you like doing. It’s a good feeling to wake up in the morning and not dread going into work.
I feel like a lot of people struggle with fitting in when they get a new job. There are already friend groups established and it can be intimidating. Especially if you are an introvert and have probs with isolating. I think you are very brave for deciding to go to this gathering so your co-works can get to know you better. Just be yourself and I bet everyone will love you.
It’s hard not to listen to the negative thoughts, I know. I deal with that too. Just remember that they are ONLY thoughts.
Im really happy for you and really proud of you! It’s not always easy to connect with people and make new friends, especially when everyone is new to you!
As @Mystrose said, be yourself and try to enjoy it.
You know what? Sometimes when I’m in a group of people I don’t know so well, I’ll pick someone who seems really chill and say hi to them and let them know I’m a bit shy and is it okay if I sit with them, and every time I’ve gone out and done this, they’ve been really wonderful in making sure I’m a part of the group! So maybe that could be something to try if you’re comfortable?
Once you start getting to know them, I’m sure you’ll find out so many wonderful things about them and they about you!
Hi Starspirit,
thank you for sharing.
first of all, take a deep breath, relax and enjoy that moment. you can be so proud of yourself. some pieces seem
to come together for you, and that is awesome. i am happy that you have a job that you like and you settled in.
when it comes to new jobs, i think the most pressure you put on is from yourself.
sure, there are already groups. as an introvert it’s more complicated to interact. but also, when you do your job
properly, not shying away to react to them, and you go to this gathering you getting there. be yourself, take care
and just be you. enjoy that.
take one step a time. you do great my friend. all you have to do is breathe.
you matter most and you are loved.
feel hugged
I’m so glad to hear things are going better for you! I know how hard it is to lose a parental figure, I lost mine in April as well…
Have you tried using everydollar.com to keep track of spending? My therapist showed it to me, because I myself want to get my finances in order and keep a savings account going. Rooting for you on that part (boy is it hard).
I understand your social anxiety problem. :(( I suffer a lot from that as well. I’m glad to hear that they invited you to that outing though! I hope you made the most of it. It sounds like they really want to get o know you better and become friends with you as well! I’m wishing you the best, hun.
