Finally left a toxic place

So, well, today as im writing this, did not have a great graduation. Tbh, i wish i skipped it. I know it would of been just like saying good bye if i went but it wasnt healthy. When i got home from graduation practice i was super anxious and not ready , and i wanted to be “on time” which leaves that at well that. Then we get told oh we cant have anything near us besides what we wore … I couldn’t have my water near me which i call bull crap on. So i made a smart move an drank alot so i didnt feel thirsty. I went to go use the restroom and then was back … then when we were outside it was a dire emergency they made me hold it like , excuse me ? they also patted everyone down. then i asked if i could go use the restroom after i asked where a person was and i get questioned and they made it seem like it was my fault that i had to go use the restroom. so then i had to sit their for 5 minutes then i was standing and i just couldnt handle my emotions for the second time , i was finally able to sit down still a wreck, both my mom and my old english teacher asked if i was okay and im like “Im anxious and have to use the restroom” and my mom goes over to this cop and talks to him and her , the cop , my mom and one of the deans witness me having a panic attack and i was doing heavy breathing . a dean got me to calm down . i had people check in on me … i said i was fine , at the time i was but when the 3rd person asked i was about to loose it but calmed down. My cap got knocked off like 3 times and it drove me nuts. i was right on the end so its like okay… what else will happen. Then when i was going back to get my stuff people moved it to a different area of the bilding which pissed me off like um… i was really grouchy afterwards. The thing is i regret not bringing anything to fidget with. It sucks it truly does but that would of helped me. i am just really frustrated and want to cuss but im not going to . Also all the attention was on me when i crossed the stage. when i was done my now old?/2018-2019 english teacher was like "i bet you didnt like the attention on you " and i respond with yeah i didnt. Thank gosh i can just step back and be like hey i dont get to be there anymore so thats good. I dont know what else to do at this point im clueless . any advice will help, really. Thanks guys.


Oh my word! Sounds like you had a really rough day. Wow. I’m so sorry, Ashley. That’s so crazy that they were giving you so much problem with going to the restroom. I can’t hold my bladder for very long. It causes me too much pain so I’m so sorry that you were put through that!

But! You got through it and like you said you are finally out of that place! I’m sorry you had a break down today and everything was so freaking stressful. But I love you so much friend and I hope that moving forward things can start feeling a lot better for you.

You know I’m only ever a message away. I saw your message earlier when I was getting ready for bed. I sent you some love. Even if I’m about to go to bed you’re still more than welcome to mind dump if you need to. I’ll get back to you sometime when I get up.

You are a super star for tackling today. Take some time to find some relaxing music, watch a show, play a game and just melt away. Distract and try to enjoy something for a little bit. And be sure to get some sleep. Let your body rest after all of that stress. If you need some mind calming music to help you relax or sleep, or even meditation, I made a list of stuff to help. Link

Rest well darling and we will talk soon okay?

  • Kitty

thanks friend it was just too toxic for me . ,i just as i said regret being there … i wish i can take back walking across the stage. its just a disaster. @anon17277947

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