Finding Myself

I want to find myself, know the stuff I like, know the person I am, and live like everyone else who knows who they are.
I want to achieve this by trying out new things, and committing to things that I would normally give up on after a day.

1 Like

Hey Michael - welcome to heartsupport and thanks so much for choosing to post here.

What you’re sharing is totally relatable - sometimes it feels like we’re lost / the only one who doesn’t “get it”. Everyone else seems to be happy / to know the stuff they like / to know these core things about themselves, and it’s easy to feel almost like an alien walking among humans. Like somehow you missed the “understand myself” or “figure life out” boat, and you’re the only one who hasn’t been on the trip.

Compound that with all of the effort that you’ve put into figuring yourself out just feels fruitless - like you try something for a bit, it doesn’t stick, and you end up quitting on it right after you start.

So not only does it feel like you’re lost, but you don’t have what it takes to get found, or to find your way.

This is super hard.

And you’re not alone in feeling this way for sure. I’ve felt this too. It’s shit times, honestly. Feeling like you’re floating through life without any sense of direction, like every day that passes is another mark of “Failure” for not having figured it out.

One of the things I’ve discovered over time is the value of joy. Back in covid I tried out a few new hobbies (many that I didn’t stick with, but still tried out a lot of new things), and I used to haaaaate that thought. It felt like such a waste of time. But looking back on my life after that year, I realized something beautiful - the most LIFE that came to me, to my family, to people around me came through my JOY. It was interesting because I used to think joy was a waste of time - I need to be productive. But seeing that the most beauty in my life arose from the places I experienced joy - it was humbling. And informative. And gave me permission to listen to my heart and not just what I “should” be doing.

So I’m curious with you - where do you find your heart coming alive? Finding joy? Even if it’s not currently, looking back on your life - what is 3 things/places/moments in your life where you experienced joy? And what was it about that that really lit you up?

Appreciate you sharing, michael.

-nate

Hey Michael, Nice to meet you, welcome to Heartsupport.
I think its wonderful that you want to try new things in order to find who you are and what you like, life can be a real drudge sometimes where we end up doing the same things day in day out and its ok but we kind of end up like walking talking robots, we could do it all in our sleep.
Trying new things, mixing it up, finding new interests can only ever be positive so good luck to you, enjoy every moment and I hope you will let us know how its going. Much Love Lisa. x

1 Like

Michael, welcome to Heart Support. I’m so glad you are here and I hope you find this a safe place to share.

I can relate to that feeling of not knowing who I am and what I want in life and feeling like everyone else has their act together and knows this stuff. Oh friend, there are more of us who have been in your shoes than you likely realize. You are not alone in this.

Think about the things that stir joy in your heart when you do them, think about doing them. What things make you feel like they give you purpose in doing them? Having a passion to do something will help you stay with it when you may otherwise quit in frustration. However you look at it and however you step forward though - continue to try new things and keep learning about yourself. Each of us is far more complex and capable than we give ourselves credit for. I look forward to hearing about what you learn about you.

You’d be surprised how many people want to find themselves and how many people wished they could have it all together just like everyone else. I think if you asked anyone, they would be struggling with this in some way or another.

I’m sorry you’re struggling with wanting to find yourself, I can totally relate. I read somewhere that we should look at our youth and remember what we were interested in back then. What our hobbies were, what we wanted to be when we grew up and things we wanted to do when we got older. I think that’s where our true self really was until the world influenced us and adulthood took us away from those things. So, take a look back and see if anything gives you a spark.

You matter!

1 Like