Hey friends- I am choosing to see this as a success but of course it’s brutal while I’m in it …
Looking back I think my panic attack has been brewing for a couple days. Two episodes of night terrors and then they just put my head in a funny place. Today it came crashing down and I couldn’t leave the house.
About 5 weeks ago I cut my anti depressant meds in half. Had an appointment with my doc yesterday and told her I was thinking of cutting back. (Not sure why I wasn’t truthful but still wanted her opinion.) She recommend I not cut back. I loathe the doctor (she’s great - just hate the process) so that probably didn’t help the brewing anxiety.
But when it set in full force today, I took my anti anxiety meds (just PRN) and after an hour was able to leave the house and go about my day with just medium level anxiety.
Feeling rough now - not sure if I should take more of the PRN or just wait and see. When you are used to a lifetime of anxiety, a certain level feels normal and it can be hard to judge how much is too much.
So why is this a success story? It may not be. These past few weeks have been jagged but I’ve mostly been able to be strong and probably more importantly been able to notice when I’m being strong.
I’ve been getting a lot of exercise to get me out of my own head. I’ve been addressing problems rather than brushing them aside. (I’m hideously non-confrontational). I’ve been stretching myself beyond my usual comfort zone.
It’s a thing. Good / bad / who knows? Thanks for reading. Peace.
That sounds like great progress to me! Healing takes time. A long time sometimes. You’ll probably have more panic attacks BUT the time between them might get longer and longer. It could take years, but maybe someday you will be in complete control of your mind and your anxiety will be a helpful problem solving tool instead of a disease. You can use it to tell you when things are amiss, or give you the motivation to address and resolve conflicts!
So keep up the good work! Don’t give up on healing yourself.
Hi friend, These sound like positives to me. Things don’t have to be perfect in order to be considered progress or successful. You’re taking healthy strides to help yourself and work on yourself. And that counts as something!
I can understand the anxiety here but I think it is very important to the process to take your medication as prescribed and be very open and honest with your doctors about how they are affecting you. And be very honest about when you change the dosage. Doctors cannot properly help us if we aren’t being fully open with them. They can’t properly understand if we don’t follow the treatment as planned. So I’d definitely talk to them about cutting back and maybe why you have decided to do that. How it does or doesn’t help or maybe if the medication needs to be changed. The process of finding the right medication and dose is a tough journey. I know. I spent many years trying to find the right combinations of medications and dosages to get to a healthy balance. It’s stressful, it’s anxiety inducing and emotionally draining but worth it. Just be sure to keep being open to your doctor. It’s important
Finding that healthy balance can be hard. And I hope that you’re able to find a balance of things that work for you. Healthy coping techniques and courage to talk to your doctor so they can help guide you when you feel like this.
Over all friend, I’m sending you love and I think that your positives are really great! Definitely good success and progress here. Keep taking those healthy strides
Medication can be a struggle, especially when it’s about finding the right dosage at the right moment, depending on where you are on your own healing journey.
Maybe the sucess isn’t much about the results but the way you handle this right now. You’re trying, you’re taking decisions for yourself. It is indeed difficult to judge if it’s too much or not. And here no one can give any advice when it’s a matter of medication - for obvious reasons. But you’re in that position of seeking what is the best choice for you right now, for your own mental health, well-being… That is, for sure, a huge success to acknowledge.
Thank you. For sharing, for letting us know, for allowing those who read you to be part of your own journey.
Keep trying, friend. Keep growing. It takes time. But you are doing great.
Hi @NateP - I love this thought and had never considered that possibility before. I’ve always thought it was just something sort of broken in my head, but not something that may one days be of benefit. Thank you!
It’s important
