I’m posting here because I’m at my wits end. So first, a little about me:
I am 33, overweight, Male. I have severe ADHD, type 2 bipolar, and major depression. I am medicated, in therapy, and trying to hold my life and relationships together.
I grew up an only child, relatively spoiled but always very sensitive. I have two prior attempts at suicide in my teens as well as a brief stay in a mental health facility.
When I was growing up, especially when my mental health started deteriorating, it was a general victory just getting through each day for everyone around me as well as myself.
I learned that my survival mechanisms of my younger years have crippled my emotional intelligence. Not only that, but I used to think I was a good person, but now I question that every day.
I don’t know how to change, I’m trying to read books, talk with my therapist, but I can’t maintain anything in my life except my job.
I feel lost, alone, like a failure, a bad partner, a bad person, angry, sad, and so scared all the time.