First time post

I’ll be honest I’m not in a good place right now. A lot has happened to me in the last couple months and I’m surprised I’m still holding it together. Recently my girlfriend just kinda decided that we where over. Pretty much out of the blue. it’s been about 6 weeks and it hurts everyday, all day. I’ve been in the position before and I tried to end it all because of the pain. I’ve had those thoughts again and they linger pretty bad, but the hope that we could work things out and get back together have kept me here, kept me going. I’ve prayed everyday for God to help me find my way back to her or take the pain away and let me move on. Sometimes I don’t know if the voice in my head is me or something else ya know. I just have this feeling in my heart that things will be ok, and we’ll laugh about this together. I’m just really lost. I hate talking about stuff because I feel like I’m a burden to others and that showing emotion is a sign of weakness but I just need to get it out. it’s not easy to even type right now.

Hey Ian,

I just want to tell you that I hear you, and I see you, and you are loved friend. Your life matters and you are important. I am praying for you, and I trust that God has a plan for you through all of this.

With that being said, I feel like the issue of the breakup isn’t something that any words I could say would fix. A few things I would encourage you to do is try to sit down and talk to her face to face and talk about what she feels like is the issues in the relationship and see if it’s something that can be solved. But don’t beg her to stay, if she wants to go let her go! And believe me I know that’s sucky advice to hear and we never want to do it, but I learned begging them to stay will just end in pain in the future.

Don’t feel like you should be in “x place” by now or that you should be moved on from “x thing” in “x amount of time” because my friend that’s not how healing works. Every person is different and ever situation is different. One of my breakups I was over with in a few weeks the other one took months. My friend you are par for the race, and exactly where you should be in your healing. (Something I struggle with often with my recovery even and have to be reminded of often).

God hears your prayers friend, and He loves you and he is here for you and here to walk along side you. Even when you feel alone in this world, He is there (and you have this community as well. I remember after my break up crying out to God, praying and begging him to take my pain away and I just remember hearing “be still”. My friend be still, heal, and you’ll get through it! Hang in there.

Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,
Monkey

Hi Ian,

Man, break ups are so hard. There is nothing about that process that is ever easy. It’s just something that we have to work through. I know first hand that it’s a lot easier said than done, but it is possible. I have learned in life that in our love life, in our friendships and even in our family that we will battle through a lot of hurts, break ups, separations and from those we can grow stronger. It will help us be not just stronger but improve ourselves, teach us what we want and need from ourselves and from our relationships, so that we can grow even stronger and better for the next relationship.

It’s also true that we will go through a lot of love and friend relationships in life. It’s this cycle that happens. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with such a hard break up right now. And that its hitting you so hard.

Please know that you are so important, so ending it is not the answer. I hope that you will find strength to keep fighting even when it feels so awful right now. The hurt of a break up doesnt always go away right away and sometimes it just takes time and allowing ourselves to heal. It’s okay to hurt, but its also important to help make ourselves fight and work through it as we can find the strength too.

You are not a burden. Its good to talk about your feelings. Get it out. Its better than bottling it up. But it’s also good to know when to take a break from it and find something healthy to channel your energy and feelings onto. A hobby, out with a friend, going for a walk, or whatever it is that you enjoy. So that you can have something that feels good kind of take you out of that hurt for a while.

Take it day by day my friend. Find things and people that make you feel better. Involve in something that is healthy and positive. Nothing I say can fix your hurt, but I hope that a light will find its way to you and guide you through all of this hurt so that you can refind happiness and something that is good.

You are important. You matter. You are cared for. Hold fast my friend.