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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/38868
First up… love this band. They never fail to be relateable to my exact circumstances.
Secondly, I love your take on the lyrics.
As someone who has had anger and behavioural issues all my life and only started taking 100% responsibility whenever I mess up regardless in my early 20s (I’m 25 and a half), often it feels like I’m in an endless loop of mess up, extreme regret, make inroads then mess up again. I’ve lost many friends due to it.
However, I actually found that bit about control that you mentioned extremely insightful and it isn’t something I otherwise considered. And from my perspective, when I warn people about my dark side, it’s more so they’re prepared for what may happen. But there is an element of control, you’re right
Thanks for your insight, it has helped me 
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Love this - it’s exciting when we take ownership over our own issues - it changes us from being a victim to our circumstances to being an agent of progress. It’s hard to stomach the first bit of self-blame - but after crossing that threshold change becomes possible. Super cool that’s the journey that you’re on.
The loop of mess up - regret - reconcile - repeat is relatable. It’s hard to feel like you’re AWARE of your issue, OWNING it, and yet not “nailing” it yet. It makes you feel like a fraud at times, like you aren’t “really” making progress or “really” caring or “really” capable of change. Reconciling your own internal beliefs about yourself - that you are in the arena and choosing to have courage in this area of your life and that you are in process, worthy of grace and acceptance even though you’re imperfect - is hard to sustain when you feel like you don’t “deserve” it because you just know you’re going to fail again.
But these are issues you only get to face because you’re actually doing something about these issues, which is reason to feel proud.
Glad you gained some insight from the video and hope the journey continues to progress for you.
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@HeartSupport - Mental Health Community Wow, thank you so much for your super detailed response, it really means the world!!! And you practically just read my mind, as yes, sometimes it does feel like I don’t deserve the good that those in my life afford me,
Thanks again, I was not expecting such a detailed and thoughtful response 
P.S. Check out more Holding Absence. They are so relateable, I love them
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