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Flash backs from being trafficked


#1

I’m in the middle of this big research paper. The assignment was to do it on a topic of injustice that is close to us. So my paper is the sexual misconduct that happens at concerts primary at metal concerts.

I picked this because one I feel like this dosent get addressed enough but also because growing up when I was 10 I was trafficked at metal shows and other events and concerts till I was 13.

The few people that know of this have told me it was my fault for not speaking up. Or thay say it must not have been that bad because I still like to listen to metal music. When in reality when all the terrible things were happening the music and the mosh pits were the one thing that would drowned everything else out and is why I still love the music. I didn’t go to shows for a really long time and only within this last year have I started going to a couple shows with friends here and there.

With all that being said this paper that I’m writing is a lot harder then I expected. It dosent help that Iv been manic, not sleeping and having both emotions of feeling both very confident and extremely insecure all at the same time. All the research has been bringing up a lot of memories I thought I had forgotten about. Iv been losing track of time and come to realize that I spent the last hour and a half desiccating.

It’s to late for me to change my topic and even if I could I feel like this issue needs to be takes about more and by people that have gone through it for there to be a diferencie.

I’m just struggling with the flashbacks and just trying to pray for the strength to get through this and execute it well.

I could really use some prayer because I’m feeling so spiritually attacked by all of this


#2

Hi friend, thank you for speaking up.

I can relate to this issue a lot since I once made a school presentation about suicide and it was the toughest thing ever. You said that it’s your fault for not speaking about the issue, but there is no way to do it as of now. Everyone just don’t want to listen and it’s completely understandable. However, I believe you should keep going - even if the memories are hitting hard - because you don’t know how that could turn out. In my experience, it led to something good. And I hope it’s the same for you too.

Love you ╳


#3

A lot of this is just hard sence I live in the same town and every day I have to drive down the red light just to get to the college. Iv goten to the point were I can block out a lot of the memory’s but with all the stuff bringing back old emotions I can’t keep them out of my head


#4

It suck because shows should be a safe haven we’re no one gets hurt. It’s not your fault, that very hard thing to talk about. It’s good you are talking, because it a message you to get out their and it will help people.You are strong person and you can make a difference. Please stay strong


#5

Keep pushing through. Maybe reliving through some of the things you have been repressing will help you to work through them and make you stronger. Stay strong and keep pressing on, we will be praying for you


#6

@Loveinflyleaf

I just prayed. Thank you for sharing your post. This community and I care about you. We love you. God loves you.


#7

Hi there friend, Anyone who is abused by someone else is not at any fault. Only the abuser is. Anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t worth being around.


#8

@Loveinflyleaf this is such a big thing to share. Thank you for sharing your experience and your heart for this subject. We tend to not speak up about this kind of stuff I think so thank you for doing this. I personally do not know what to say. It must been really hard but I want to say I love you and I am seriously praying you for guidance and comfort. I hope you always remember your identity is not in your past but Christ. Thank you again for sharing Love you.

Morgan Vincent Hochstetler


#9

@Loveinflyleaf Im sorry for everything you’ve gone through, but Im glad you’ve found the strength to come out and talk about this <3


#10

Loveinflyleaf, You are in my very forethought’s and prayers, not only to get through this tough time emotionally, but also to be inspired by something higher. Something that may use you as a conduit and a tool to speak to others, and give them the strength to face what they may be facing, and the courage to face it and get through it.

As LysthePotato says, YOU ARE A TREASURE, NOT TRASH. Remember that, when your mind tells you things that you may or may not know are true.

We love you, we support you. #AnArmyOfMillions
-Ry


#11

@Loveinflyleaf Hold Fast friend, you are so loved.


#12

Thank you for sharing about you have had to live through such a nightmare. You are an incredibly strong person to face this in such a public way. I would agree with another previous comment, it sucks because I’ve always felt that going to shows should be a safe haven for everyone to enjoy a common love of music. I pray that you are able to continue being strong and that you find some sense of mental and emotional relief.

Hold fast.