When I watch and hear band about their stories one band member she talk about her high school experience and immediately I got flashback when I was 15 I wasn’t understanding my surroundings and my mom pressure me to much to get better grade. My sister have anger issues back then and one time I grab a knife and held it against my neck I wanna commit suicide but I couldn’t and I was crying. My life is fluctuate from not to stress to stress and feel like not worth it. I don’t wanna others to assume i got depression but I wasn’t diagnose only Autism but I got so many expectations from everyone.
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I am sorry you are hurting. You sound like you are going through so much. You are not alone you are not the only one who feels hopeless angry and confused about life. It’s hard I know its awful hang in there. Sending hugs.
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One of the hardest parts for me was thinking I was a failure. That I wasn’t good enough. It took me a long while to realize that I should only be holding myself to my own expectations. This is my life and not there’s. They are not me. Now it is different from then. I know you’re hurting. But, try to see that they are only doing their best. While you need to also not think about their expectations. And only your own. It’s hard. Especially coming from a mentor or a parent or someone like that. But try to hold yourself to your standard. Not their’s. I hope this helped a bit. Sending hugs.
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I’ll keep this in mind 
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It sounds like you have dealt with a lot. You are strong and brave! Keep pressing on. We are here for you.
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Hey @MsBeckman - Thank you for reaching out and updating us on your situation. You’re strong and a warrior - keep pushing on! You’re not alone in this fight. We’re here for you if you need us.