Hi. So, I am a new mother. Postparum depression has hit me hard. I’m always home spending every waking moment with my newborn. Since I’m home so much my depression has increased. I don’t know how to keep positive. Please help…
What I find is sometimes “remaining positive” is a very hard thing to do with depression. What I recommend is taking a deep breath and telling yourself, it’s okay. Feeling down is okay and it -wont- last forever. Try focusing on some more positive things, do something good for yourself. Something you enjoy or like. Or something productive. I know that’s easier said than done with depression, but acknowledging your state and making a choice to do something to change is a big thing. Just you know you are not alone in that fight.
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Oh man, being in the middle of being a new mom, feeling like your entire life has been swallowed up by this tiny being, and feeling trapped in the middle of this emotional vacuum is so brutal…your life changes so fast…one of my mentors said it’s like an “earthquake” through your life when you have a newborn…it’s traumatic, the change…and most of the time we aren’t really prepared for it, there’s no really good way to do that…I remember having that happen with each of my kids, and it was brutal every time…but especially as a mom because your life is hit the hardest, like you’re expected to be their everything…my wife went through PPD as well, and it was such a brutal season for us.
I am not 100% positive what will work for you, but I can share what helped us…
Date night…this was something that literally changed the game. I’m not sure if you’re still with the dad, but getting out, together, connecting, and just being out of the house…OMG we lived on date night all week…we lived on the anticipation for and the high from date night literally every day for a few months…it gave us hope…it gave us something to hold on to / look forward to in the middle of the craziest days, so that we had something, some light in our lives…and it was a practical way to not lose ourselves or our marriage in the midst of the storm.
I know babysitting, I know money…but there’s literally nothing greater than your sanity. Self-care is never a selfish act. It’s taking care of the one greatest asset you have in this world: yourself…and that’s your greatest parenting tool! If you’re robbing yourself, you’re ultimately hurting your kid because you’re giving them less than you could if you took the time (or money) to take care of yourself. I know it’s hard to separate yourself from your newborn, but believe me it is worth it…and we did it!! With twins!! It felt crazy, but the payoff was so so so so so so so worth it. We were 10X better parents. Everyone was happier…it changed the game in our whole house.
Hope this is a practical / helpful tidbit for you and your fam 
-Nate
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