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For when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired

In this video, a user expresses that they have no motivation to get up each morning, and is sick of it. Watch below:

Initial Questions:

  1. Have you ever felt this way? Focus in and think about a time when you were simply ‘over it’.

Sometimes in life we’ll find ourselves at the end of our rope, so to speak. In this video, Casey reads about a user who claims that they have no motivation to get out of bed, hates themselves, and regrets things that they did in the past, like hurting others. They’re venting, and voicing a deep part of their hearts as they seek to put words to the pain they’re feeling.

If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ve been there. I’m sure you’ve experienced trying something really hard, again and again, and receiving failure instead. Maybe you’ve pushed through some milestones before, and you’ve made progress, but it feels like you’re still stuck in the same place. You know what you should or need to do, but you’ll probably fail anyway so why try? It’s easier and more comfortable to just call it quits and mail it in right?

Wrong! But, definitely easier said than done. In the video, Casey emphasizes with the user. He says that they sound absolutely exhausted. And he goes further to say that the cliches you often hear to “help” in situations like these don’t really help at all. Phrases like “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” (does anyone under 60 even know what that means anymore?!), “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” or “try try again” seem more tired and exhausted than the user in the post!

Something that isn’t tired though is hope. Hope is one of the most powerful concepts in the universe. Without it, we flounder. With it, we can create vibrant new worlds of possibility. To the one who has hope, the universe surrenders (that’s a quote - forgot where from). For this user, hope for a better day is what’s needed.

Deeper questions:

  1. Think about that time where you related strongly to the user in the post. What kept you from hope?
  2. Why did it feel more comfortable to say in that place of fear? What were you afraid of happening? Write this down for sure - in the most vivid and funny way you can. For example, “Well, what if I finally go try to get a different job, but I don’t get it, and the I can’t make any money, so I can’t buy food, and then I die.”
  3. Take a good hard look at the road of “giving up”. Imagine that you’re on it, right now, sulking and looking down at your feet. Look up, and look down the road. What’s at the end?
  4. Consider and meditate on this question: who paved the road that you’re on?
  5. If you came up with “I did” - great! That’s step one. The final step (and by final, we mean an ongoing process through life that’s never perfect) is knowing that you can step off of that road, and onto a new one at any time. That new road is called hope.
  6. Picture yourself on the road of hope. Look up. What do you see?
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For this exercise I’m going to rewind my brain a bit, and pretend like I’m 20, and back in the Marine Corps:

Initial Question:

  1. Per the above, I’m deployed to Iraq, and while I’m there, I realize that the way is over. All of my training and “suffering” up to the point has been for “nothing” - in my mind

Deeper Questions

  1. Hope seemed very far from me when I was deployed to Iraq. Having been stuck there for several months, I didn’t think I’d ever get out. Furthermore, I didn’t feel like I should be there. I felt useless, like I was there to fill some number-quota, and was angry at the world. Like the user I felt sick and tired of being sick and tired.
  2. It felt entirely more comfortable to blame my feelings of angst on “the man” or the military machine. That way, I didn’t have to take responsibility for my own sulking or refusal to live up to the standards that I had committed to. My line of thinking was “F this place! The war is over why are we here? I’m not going to have a good attitude about this. If I do, that somehow approves what they’re doing, which I think is wrong. And if I show that I approve somehow, then they’ll promote me, and eventually I’ll be in charge of the whole military that I hate now and I don’t want to be a 4 star general so ima sulk.”
  3. (4./5./6.) If I could talk to my 20 year old self today and give him advice, I’d simply tell him how wonderful his life turned out. I’d tell him that he might as well change his attitude and his outlook on life now, and spare himself the next 5-6 years of trying to escape in different ways like drinking or partying or food or anything else. I’d tell him that until he snags some hope, it’s not going to get better - life never gets any easier - we just get stronger. And that he has so much good to give the world - but he’s got to master himself first, and not blame everyone else for his sufferings. He can take control, and he might as well do so now, because the floundering and sulking is just not doing it for him (I would know).