Why even try.
You don’t fail when you try, friend. You still learn something, you still progress. But I hear your disappointment. And I’m sorry you feel like you keep failing. Unfortunately, progress isn’t linear, and there’s always a lot of moments when we don’t really know what’s going on or if what we’re doing is the right thing.
How you feel right now doesn’t question who you are. You’re a human being, with passions, desires, emotions and dreams. You’re not nothing. You’re not weak. Even if sometimes your mind tries to convince you with some lies about yourself.
Every time you try, you are closer to the person you want to be. I can only imagine how overwhelming it is to deal with this kind of thought. But through your posts I can tell that you are trying, fighting. I see it here. And that’s something to celebrate. That’s part of who you are.
Take some time to breathe today. Try to have a break, to rest. You’ve been very strong. You still are! But when you are disappointed or frustrated because the results you expect are not there yet, then it’s okay to take the time you time to recharge. Be safe, friend.