before reading this i HIGHLY suggest reading my previous 2 posts. anyway, i need help from a big group of people so why not ask on heartsupport? my ex as i mentioned in my other posts i want to message her again and get some answers but idk. im in this fork in the road where i just dont know what to do rn. i love her so much i really do but im so scared i wont talk to her again. i need answers and i need them like soon. i want to know why she lied about loving me, why she hates me, and if she asked to be friends because she was going to date someone else. i dont really know if its a good idea but im just going insane in my room just sitting around doing nothing. so if someone could please tell me if i should and how should i open up and say hi because really i got nowhere to turn.
Is it possible that when she said that she loved you, she was not lying? People often mistake infatuation with love. Infatuation is a hot and heavy emotional occurrence that fades over time. Love and infatuation can occur together, and often does. Sometimes, one person falls in love with another individual who was merely infatuated. That’s why romance involves emotional risk.
I doubt that she hates you. She also may not be able to explain why she stopped seeing you, and that in itself could be the reason she’s avoiding you.
Chasing her and trying to hang on isn’t going to help either of you. When a relationship ends, there is a period of grieving, eventually followed by acceptance. It’s better to let yourself work through that process than it is to hope for an unattainable outcome.
I’ve been through some incredibly severe heartbreaks, but now realize that none of those relationships would have worked for me anyway.
It hurts, but it’ll be okay.
I’m so very sorry for your breakup. These are very painful experiences and I wanted to say that how you feel makes sense. As Wings said, this is a loss in your life and all these mixed emotions you feel are part of grief. It’s heavy, it hurts, it’s hard, mostly because it’s about learning to let go of someone you still want in your life. Unfortunately, there is no perfect recipe when it comes to grieving, besides allowing yourself to feel what needs to be felt, without any judgment, and trying not to stay alone when you’re having dark thoughts either. A part of your world collapsed. It feels hopeless, yet time will also be your very first asset to get through this painful time.
We see you. We hear you. Your pain is acknowledged. And I hope you know that none of what happened defines you. You are not unseen. You are not unlovable.
If you can, try to be your own priority in times to come. Do some regular check-ins with yourself, to see how you feel and what you need at the moment. Be gentle with yourself. Cultivate little acts of self-care, just like a friend would put a blanket around you if you feel cold. Your heart needs it.
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