I’m pretty good at burying my feelings deep down. Not so far that I can’t feel them-- I mean, they’re still eating away at me. But they’re hidden deep down so that no one else would ever notice them.
(An excerpt from my free write today. I felt that it captivated a lot of emotional struggle I wasnt aware of before. Just thought I would share, in case there are others out there that feel the same way.)
Thank you @EyelessDoll for sharing this. Indeed, it’s really interesting to see what comes up with free writing. I never really practiced this. I tried, but it’s still really hard for me to just “let it go”. But reading what you just shared is truly inspiring and motivating, at least to try again. Thank you.
Ah, hiding feelings… yep. Big yes. When it’s almost a habit, when it becomes automatic, it can be so frustrating. So many times I felt this huge difference between my inner life and how I appear to be on the outside. Not that I necessarily want to hide everything, but I’m still clueless when it’s about translating deep emotions into a precise attitude. I just grew up with learning to hide feelings, with the idea that it wasn’t “good” to express those. Now it’s often misunderstood as a lack of interest for everything and everyone while I feel the absolute opposite… yea, frustrating.
Again, thank you for sharing. That’s precious.
Thanks for your response friend. Free writing can be challenging, but you just have to keep writing, I literally have certain parts of my free writes that read, "and now I’m just writing…and writing more…still writing "lol until a thought pops up.
And I can relate to your story of learning to hide feelings. Growing up, we didn’t really talk about any negative feelings in my house; rarely with positive outcomes. Positive feelings were okay to discuss., but negative feelings were meant to be concealed or forgotten. As an adult, it’s tough knowing what is okay to discuss, and when.
Thank you @EyelessDoll - I think I won’t be the only one to say that this is something I needed to hear today. Repressed or buried feelings can break free at the least appreciated times and it is so good to recognize and acknowledge their existence in order to control the flow. Appreciate you being here
Yes! So true about the feelings breaking free at inopportune moments! It really does feel like a loss of control.
Aw I appreciate you too