So much for getting better and not self-harming anymore. My skin is burning where its trying to heal new cuts on my arm and I’ve been wearing my hoodie all day to cover up because last time I wore a tshirt because it was too hot, people said it was “distracting” and that I should hide them because they’re ugly. Not once did someone say “you can talk to me” or “I care about you” - they just want me to cover up. If they can’t see it then they can ignore it as much as they like and pretend it doesn’t exist.
And then there’s everyone who has abandoned me because it got too difficult. I thought friends were meant to help you through hard stuff, not just leave you there when you’re helpless and struggling. Thanks to everyone who reminded me I’m a shitty person this week, it’s not like I’m still living with the psychological scars of losing my best friend to suicide and everyone telling me I wasn’t good enough. Really helps, I really needed reminding how bad of a person I am. I don’t know whether I’m ever going to be able to get past self harm or the flashbacks of my friend being in pain or anything because whenever I’m getting better, someone comes over and smashes it all up.
Hey Ray,
Thank you for finding the courage to post on here and this community has your back!
First off, I wanna say I’m truly sorry to hear about your friend that took their life. I’ve lost some friends/acquaintances this past year and it feels like you’re getting buried alive. Sadly that’s part of life and hopefully time will heal.
Second, if friends aren’t willing to help, are they really friends? I have no idea what your tactics are but maybe stray away from that group and include yourself into a better environment. This community has helped me so much thus far and will do the same for you so post as much as you want and we’ll be here to support you.
I hope you have a great weekend and if you wanna talk, I’m here for you brother. Keep grinding👊
THey’re not friends if during the rough patches of life they’re nowhere to be scene. They’re freeloaders. Get rid of them even if it means you’re alone. Find new friends ones that stick around during the rough patches. Also quit looking for your selfworth through others. I’m not saying not to take into account what others think of you (if it is positive). I am saying there is a base value (How you value yourself) & then there is a gross value (your value to the world). What others see your value as is an added benefit. It does not impact your core worth since it is how you value yourself. So if you value yourself so little, you need to up your possibility to accept yourself. Others can’t accept you when you reject yourself.
Hey @HeyitsRay,
I am sorry for the pain you’ve gone through. I am sorry that the people around you are not supporting you as you try to heal. You deserve a lot more than that. You deserve love. You deserve to have people around you who will encourage you and lift you up when you are down.
Their actions say something about them, not you. Remember that. I know it’s hard when the people who are supposed to care don’t. Please stay strong. You are brave for dealing with everything you’ve dealt and are dealing with.
Know that you are worth so much more than your self harm and pain and scars. You are a beautiful masterpiece created with great purpose by the God of the universe who loves you. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. Even if you don’t believe it.
You are loved by this community. We are here for you. We won’t give up on you. Keep reaching out. You are worth it.
It’s okay to cut toxic people from your life! You need it to get better. Don’t let that get you down.