In middle school I got picked on, and made fun of untill 9th grade. I went to a different school I wasn’t popular, I wasn’t cool. I was called lil nikki at the new shool for wearing black, and most kids were wearing hollister, american eagle and aeropastle. I just wore skate shirts, and joke shirts like, by the time you read this it’s too late, or I’m up and out of bed what more do you want, stuff like that. I made a myspace in 8th grade, and started making friends there, but I only had 130 friends. I started using facebook thinking I could make more friends, but I only have 288 friends, on there as well. I feel like most of my friends have 400, 500, 600 up to 1,000 friends, and wonder if I can get anymore friends like that. I started working at 21, and started to make some friends there as well, and I also got some increases as well like 6 of them. We were moving to a new house, because my mom couldn’t afford the house we were living in at the time, so I ended up quiting my job there. I did find a new job after we moved a year later, and started working again. After the pandemic happend, I got laid off for about a year, but I got a new job again for the third time. I feel like it was hard for me to make friends at a job site, because I wasn’t there for a long time, and I didn’t know anybody that was working there either. I feel like it’s more difficult to make friends as an adult, then It is too make friends in high school. I am going to concerts, and football games with my dad, and going to comic cons as well, but it would be nice if I can have friends come along with me and hang out there too.
This may come off as tough love, but looking at friendships in numbers is a very very dangerous thing to do, both for yourself, and for those people that you call “friends”. I’ve always said I would rather have 3 good friends, then have 1000 people who are just on a “list”.
The people you call your friends, should be people you’re willing to not only invest in, but also they are willing to invest in you! This could be why you feel so alone despite having so many friends, because they aren’t really friends, they are people on a friends list, or just acquaintances.
So I hope you take these things, and think about them. Think about what you want in a friendship, and don’t just see friends as number. Find a few people you can trust to invest in you, and that you can invest in them.