From lost_in_head: hey. you might have seen a couple of my posts. ive been working really hard to be a good person. i think i am finnaly going in a good direction. i even have a girlfriend who i deeply love now. this is not what this post is going to be about. i have a few good friends whose lives have been going south. i have tried to be supportive but i as one person cant change what is happening. ive noticed changes in there personalities. bad ones like hate and toxicity. i dont know what to do. this is a short post. i just want advice.


hey friend, i’m so proud of you for the hard work you’ve put into bettering your life. that is incredible, i wish you all the best as you continue your journey! and when it comes to your friends, the best thing you can do for them as well as yourself is to continue being an example for upwards trajectory in life. you’re right, there’s only so much one person can do. as long as you stay true to yourself and aren’t feeling them weigh you down to also be clouded by hate and toxicity, the only thing we can hope for is that those around us look to people like yourself as a goal to also become. thank you for being a good friend and worrying for them - it is up to them how they choose to continue down their own path. love, twix

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Hi there,

Thank you for sharing with us. It’s wonderful to hear that you’re working to be a person you can be proud of and that you are going in a direction you’re happy with. The simple act of trying to be a good person is simply incredible and I’m proud of you for that.

With that said, I also feel for you. I can’t even begin to get at how upsetting and difficult it can be when we see our friends going in directions that we can’t support, and it’s common for us to feel this responsibility for our friends – after all, we care about them and want the best for them. At the same time, this perceived responsibility can cause so much internal turmoil because we ultimately can’t make decisions for our friends – only they can – and is so hard when we feel that their decisions aren’t going in the right direction.

This is all a long way of saying that I feel for you, and I understand how challenging and frustrating this may be. I don’t have any easy answers for this, but I want to remind you that you are the only person you can ultimately control; you are not responsible for your friends, as unfortunate as this can be.

I’m wishing you all the best as you navigate this difficult time. Please don’t hesitate to make another post if you’d like to send any updates or if there’s anything we can do for you.

Best wishes,

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Heya! Well so proud of you that YOU are headed in a good direction. Commendable!
Unfortunate to hear that your friends are not there yet. I suppose we can all wish that they do find a better way. But? Like you said can’t really change things sometimes.
I just encourage you to continue your path in a positive direction and hopefully they will see you as a good example. Although it might not happen right away, and you may never know. But, I have certainly seen when one person casts a bright light it can shine onto others.

Just a note: also be aware, as I have had this happen, don’t let another’s toxicity bring you down to that point. And sometimes it takes just sort of removing oneself from that possibility, even if just for a brief moment.

Keep on with your forward trajectory! You are of value.


Congrats on your personal progress (and for taking time to acknowledge it!). It is truly exciting when you can start to feel like your efforts are paying, you look back seeing how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve grown. Well done, friend!

As for your friends, it makes sense to feel lost in this situation. It’s hard to see people you love having a rough time and feeling completely helpless in helping them. As you said, you can’t fix the situation for them, and it’s healthy to acknowledge what you can from what you cannot done on the other hand, you can certainly show that you care and that you are pr sent through little increments. An unexpected message at the middle of the day to send them some nice words, an invitation to do an activity together, or even mentioning that you are here to listen if they need a supportive ear… Being a friend for them, is already going to make a huge difference. You may not be able to solve their struggles, but you can show up and make sure they’re not alone dealing with it. It’s already a lot, really. :heart: