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From adam_z41: I definitely struggle with meeting my own expectations and being able to put a smile on my face at the same time. I’m in college and find my interests to get very different from others as I grew up on rock/metal and tons of music. While struggling to fit in, I try to take time to get out to shows, which always turns it around. It’s an ongoing struggle as I try to overcome overwhelming imposters syndrome and battle a difficult degree but I know music in the end will allow me to prevail!
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Adam, it’s interesting to live in a world where every face smiles and hides the war they wage inside. You would never know that everyone faces this to one degree or another. To have the courage to confess that - admirable! Thank you for sharing this.
It’s hard to feel like you’re always behind…chasing the plateau that always seems to get higher as you climb. The promise is there - when I graduate, when I nail this grade or this test, when I land a career…there’s this unspoken idea that “THEN” I’ll be good. I’ll be able to rest. I’ll be able to be at peace.
It’s also hard to feel like you’ve got practice at setting expectations above wherever you are. Which is good - you have drive, ambition, capability to RISE. But the complementary skill - rest, receiving, accepting praise - this is harder. You’re actually practicing this really well - finding ways to care for your heart, fighting to go to shows even when it feels difficult to fight against the tide of acceptance.
It’s interesting to be someone who is capable, but with that “expectation gap” between where you are and where you want yourself to be - that is the hard thing about imposter syndrome. Because whenever you get to where you once expected yourself, you still expect yourself to be higher than you are. So you feel like a fraud. Like yeah, I know I’m at this level, but it doesn’t actually matter or deserve praise because I’m not THERE. And then when you get there, you set new expectations. It’s a vicious cycle. Imposter syndrome is such a thief of the joy of accomplishment. Hard to battle through the lies. Or to even see them as lies.
Love the head on your shoulders. You see these things. That’s half the battle. Believing it’s worth fixing, that your heart is worth caring for. That’s a worthy cause. Appreciate you, adam.