From-avrilpleut-the-voices-tell-me-im-not-a-good-e

This is a topic from INSTAGRAM. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on Instagram.

Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/
From avrilpleut: the voices tell me I’m not a good enough mom. I could have done better by my kids, made smarter choices, lived better, loved better, been better.

I hear voices too that tell me the same thing. I think all parents at some point wonder if they were good or if they could have done things differently, but the reality is we all make mistakes. We are all guilty of it, so you are not alone. <3 I try not to think about it too much, because there is nothing I could do to change the past.

Regret is so painful. It is the haunting of choices we can’t change. It is the judgment of a past we can’t affect. It feels final - like any other interpretation would be fooling ourselves, faking it. It is hard to argue with. It is hard to combat. And it is hard to overwrite.

I think one of the things that really anchored me through my own regret is the realization that judgment is all subjective. I can look back at the project I just failed and say, “What a loser.” because I didn’t hit the benchmarks I wanted to hit. Or I can look back and say, “I had courage to continue even when I saw myself failing.” It just depends on what I’m looking for. If I’m looking for reasons to tell myself I failed, I have plenty, ha. But if I look back for things like courage - strength - perseverance - honor - integrity - things that I admire in others, I can see it in myself, even when my story is imperfect.

If anything, friend, I’d challenge you to try on ONE new lens. What is one thing you admire in others? And can you ask yourself, “What’s one moment in my past where I found myself living out this characteristic?” New questions can lead to new answers and new hope. And I think you deserve more of that.

@heartsupportwall9 :heart::heart::heart::heart: thank you for that perspective.