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From charlie_louise26: I take care of my dad whose on diaylsis and on a crutch. We lost mum 17 years ago this winter. He’s had multiple surgeries and somehow thankfully still here. I feel like I have to be provider, cleaner and chef. I do two meals a night sometimes and I never feel I’m doing it right or I’m enough. Or what will happen if the worst happens then feel selfish. Theres many voices in my head even though im working from home but it just comes out all wrong.
Thank you so much for taking care of your dad the way you do. Being a caretaker is such a heavy responsibility, even when it’s about someone we are closely related to. We want to be a good supporter, someone that brings light, hope and assistance to the people we love. It makes completely sense to have this voice that makes you doubt about the way you support your dad. You want to do well and there is absolutely no shame in that. I obviously don’t know you nor your relationship with your dad, but surely you’ve been an incredible pillar of support to him and he must be so very lucky to have you by your side. Oftentimes, when we care about someone we have these expectations about ourselves and how things should be, whille really the most significant things can be smaller. Quality time, simple gestures, kind words – all these things that tend to highlight our days, especially when it’s darker ones. I hope that through all of this, you also manage to take care of yourself. Helpers need help too. I hope you cultivate patience with your heart, mind and body. You deserve the same amount of love and support that you are so willing to give around you. Whether it is felt as a responsibility or a choice, you have a beautiful heart. <3
It really is. And I’m so very sorry that this winter is such a reminder of grief for you. It’s definitely a time of the year that brings me back as well to feeling deeply the loss of people I was very close to. Over the years, is there something that you have developed by yourself or with your dad to honor your mom’s memory? Or a significant way for you celebrate the good times you had together? <3
@taylor he can’t travel so much now with diaylsis 3 days a week. We spread her ashes on her favourite beach in Devon in the first year but he hasn’t been able to get back for several years as it takes 4 hours just to get there and back in the car. I’ve been able to go back sometimes with him at first when he was on home diaylsis. Boyfriend now comes with me too. I hope you’re doing okay
thank you a lot for sharing this. i am sorry to hear that, my toughts are with you my friend. you show
heart, strength and courage doing this. be proud of yourself, you absolutely can. we are, and i am so
proud of you. you deserve all the good things in this world. feel hugged and loved.
to all out there taking care of your loved ones and reading this, you matter and you are
all loved and beautiful the way you are. thank you all from the bottom of my heart. you are all strong and
loved. Feel hugged and loved.
xx==
I have a cleaner starting to come as that gets too much some days but carers cost too much