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Denise - I can relate. Over thinking, second guessing and not trusting myself and my decisions. Over analyzing what others said, did, might be thinking. It’s hard to find peace and progress when we don’t trust what we think, see or hear. Know that you are not alone, while your story is unique, the feelings and frustrations are common to many of us. It’s definitely a process to try and change how I think and it happens in baby steps.

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Hi there!

From an expert overthinker since I have memory, the feeling of not controliing your own thought, of overthinking about every aspect of the day…is simply exhausting. One of the best advice my therapist gave me about that, is to think why I am thinking about it so much? Why is taking so much time to stop thinking about it?. What I really want to say with this, is maybe when you start to overthinking, try to put on a paper the reason why your mind is repeating the same thoughts.

At first maybe it can not be easy but I hope to write your feeling and thoughts down will help you, like is helping me. Know that you are not alone and if you need to speak about it, we are here.

With love.


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Overthinking everything can drive a person mad. I find that if I check the facts and make a list of the fears I have right now, then a list of facts that make those fears valid and a list of facts that make those fears invalid, it seems to ease my mind and I can think a little more clear.


You’ve already overcome the first and perhaps the most important challenge, because you already know you’re overthinking about some things. One kind of overthinking is when the gears keep turning in hopes of arriving at an answer about something, when no answer is available. Another kind is engaging in a universe full of “what if’s.” For example, what if this or that happens? How will I deal with it? What if I can’t trust that person? What if there’s an earthquake, etc. Another kind is rumination, usually over some kind of relationship issue, or unresolved conflict. Sometimes it’s just too much caffeine.

Overthinking can trigger a creative process, but when it does, it involves a cycle of overthinking, followed by complete release of the issue, at least temporarily. It’s like working on a problem sometimes for many hours, then collapsing into bed. The next morning, while showering or thinking about something else, the answer you were seeking just pops into your head. Sometimes it happens while drifting off to sleep.

It’s often said that if someone is forbidden to think about monkeys for an entire day, that individual will not be able to avoid thinking about them. Similarly, ordering yourself to stop overthinking, is a great way to shift such thinking into overdrive. It’s not unlike ordering yourself to sleep, then becoming stressed because you are not falling asleep quickly enough. In other words, worrying about overthinking is very likely to exacerbate the problem.

Relaxation techniques or meditation can help. Diverting thoughts towards something more enjoyable can help. Watching a mindless sitcom might help. “Bracketing” periods of time, maybe an hour or so, in which you allow yourself to take a break from the issue can also help. It might also help to realize that overthinking is one of the most common things that humans do, and there is usually an expiration date for each time it occurs.

Maybe overthinking originated in prehistory, when repeated thoughts reinforced the formation of neural pathways in the brain, in order that some kind of adaptive behavior manifests. For example, a hunter gatherer may spend the day thinking about the conditions that were present when he encountered a dangerous animal. He might think about it over and over again until it’s cemented in his memory, and he will be on alert whenever he sees circumstances similar to what they were when the animal was encountered.

I sometimes relate overthinking to what happens when a catchy tune get stuck in the mind. I might keep hearing that bit of music over and over again. Then I usually think about where I was and what I was doing when the music first got my attention. At that point, it’s not unusual to figure out what triggered the memory of that music.

I think it’s best to take overthinking in stride, rather than fuel it with frustration. As I mentioned earlier, it usually runs its course and dissipates. I think the less it bothers you, the more quickly it goes away.

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