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From fatpaque: I don’t really feel like I’ve earned any amount of success I’ve ever had, and really struggle to talk about it because I feel like admitting that I have any amount of success is narcissistic and something that I should be thankful for. It’s difficult to do that when I don’t think I’ve earned it though.
Thank you for sharing about these thoughts today. The shame and guilt it brings are not feelings you deserve to deal with, especially just on your own. I personally réalité a lot to what you said and I’m very grateful for you and for opening about this. What some would call “impostor syndrome” is something exhausting to deal with, and a paradox is that there are many of us dealing with it mostly silently. I’m also very scared of owning any success. I feel like it is pretentious to do so, yet would always be willing to acknowledge and celebrate accomplishments of people I love. There is a balance to find between narcissism and self-dismiss. Humility is a beautiful value, but it can also be used in a way that mostly destroys ourselves. Taking pride in what we do is a need, as we are human beings and are in need of acknowledgement. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be done in an extreme way – from celebration of success to bragging about it and living in contempt, there is a huge gap. I’m still trying to learn that myself and find a lot of help in relying on the trust I put into the people I love and want the best for me. I believe you understand the struggle very well, and are absolutely capable of learning to give yourself more credit over time, invest in these parts of your heart that have been abandoned for too long to a sense of worthlessness. You are not a fraud. Just like you would celebrate others, you are worthy of encouragement and acknowledgement, first and foremost from yourself. <3
Hi Friend! I appreciate this post. I’ve struggled with this as well. I think it’s okay to acknowledge your success. Working hard for things in life should always come with a feeling of satisfaction. Your accomplishments are important. You are important. I hope that you’re able to find joy in your success. You deserve it.
Hey Friend, thank you for posting, You know its really ok to celebrate your own success as long as you are not putting anyone else down in the process. If you cant be happy for yourself how can you expect anyone else to be. If you work hard and you get what you want, celebrate it, be pleased, be happy and enjoy your hard work, you have nothing to feel bad about. If others feel bad because they dont work hard then, they maybe need to also put the hours in or find a way to make themselves feel more positive about themselves. Enjoy your Wins in life. Lisa x
thank you for sharing. there is nothing wrong with being proud on your achievements. there is nothing wrong with
celebrating. be proud of what you have achieved. you deserve that.
look at your way, what you have done for that.
would you worry about that when you were narcissistic ?would you doubt that then ? doubt yourself ?
i think not. so you have done all by yourself. you have come along way.
thank you, you are loved and you matter. take care of yourself and you deserve that.
Feel hugged my friend.
Hi Friend, I don’t think there is any connection between being proud of your success and being narcissistic if you talk about it. There is a lot more to NPD than that. It’s totally ok to be proud of yourself and I bet the people in your life are proud of you. Enjoy your success, you’re allowed to. ~Mystrose
the fact that you feel so much guilt over having success in your life shows that you are mindful of those around you. Definitely not a narcissistic trait to have. But you don’t have to feel guilt, it’s okay to celebrate your successes. Even if those successes have come easier than others. It’s no less deserved. Maybe you could take some time to remind yourself that you are grateful for the things that have come your way and you’ll use those successes as a tool to bring positivity to those around you.
Thank you for sharing your story. May I say that you are not the only person to have difficulty in talking about success and achievements with others. There are many of us who find talking about things we’ve accomplished difficult. But, that said, it’s okay to talk about things you have done if you do so with respect. And one thing is for sure, if you were narcissistic, you wouldn’t be concerned about this at all. What I would say is that it’s hard to have any success if you don’t have a role in achieving it. Most of us do find success with the help of others so share the enjoyment of success with those involved.