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From naomi_altman_writes: Because of my moderate-to-severe anxiety and depression I am afraid I am never going to be able to hold down a job…live on my own…especially, find a loving partner to be in a relationship with…if even my own family has a hard time dealing with me when my mental health is bad, why would a man who wasn’t my family ever agree to love me and take on my burdens for life? I’m a hopeless romantic, always have been, I wanna fall in love and start my own life…but it feels so impossible right now. Thanks HeartSupport for everything you do, much love, Naomi
It’s the dominos, right? I struggle mentally → I will not hold down a job → I will not live on my own → I will not find someone to love me → I will always be alone. Anxiety has a tendency of snowballing like that. It’s hard to get out of that cycle, because one failure can mean catastrophe, and it’s hard to unwind yourself from that. It’s like living life in an old treehouse. Which sounds wonderful! And you feel it should be! But every step has the chance of you falling through. So you’re cautious to take steps, but you also feel hopeless, because you know you have to move, and you know that when you do you’re going to face something awful. But then the fear starts to pervade EVERY step, not just the ones that break. And it becomes this kind of mental cloud you live in. It’s hard to get out of that habit. To feel like you can be free, to just be in one moment of f–king peace. And then when you think about your anxiety, you wonder - will I ever be loveable? Could anyone actually accept and want to live their life with me? And then round and round and round and AHHHH. Okay. Recentering. Can I just…go to work…
it’s not always easy is it? It’s very hard to sometimes not even know what the day is going to bring, but to be honest there are some wonderful people, like the people in this community who know and understand what it’s like. Who are patient and kind and have been through the highs and lows mental health often serves out. I know that professional help is something that sounds terrifying and is also so helpful, we can learn to find those ways of coping and communicating and it does make relationships easier to manage.
Naomi, thank you for sharing about your mental health struggles. The hopes that you share are what all of us would like to have - love and acceptance. And we are all deserving of that. Can I ask if you are going to therapy for your anxiety and depression? Finding treatment and doing the work in therapy can go a long way to helping you see that where you are now is not where you have to stay. Things can change, you can change. You are worth the investment in yourself. You matter my friend. I wish you well.
Hi Naomi,
thank you so much for sharing. your post shows strength and heart. many of us, i also can relate a lot to that.
to find someone who loves you, to have the life you ever dreamed of. feeling like a burden for the most part of my
life. sometimes things become possible i we want them bad enough. stick to your dreams, to your imagination.
are you seeking help in form of a therapy ? or a self help group ? it will widen your sight on things. it will help you
cope with your toughts and worries. it will help you to overcome. if you want that, if you are willing to change, the
change will come. in the best way possible. people, family and friends are there for you and they be with you,
because of who you are, what you are. there is no burden, there is no bad thing about you when you are with them,
there is the beauty of yourself. they love being with you because of you. and so it will be when you find the right
person when it comes to love. everything will come to pieces in our lives, for some sooner, for some later.
keep dreaming big, keep on going, do one step at a time, small steps matter most.
you are loved the way you are, you are beautiful the way you are. you matter!
feel hugged my friend.
Hi Friend, thank you for posting, I would encourage you to get a good support system behind you so that you feel more comfortable when you decide to make a move to live alone. I have anxiety and bouts of depression and have done my entire adult life and have lived alone all that time so it certainly is doable, I have a family that I can call on if needed and a doctor if I need one but I mostly stick to a routine that I know keeps me on an even keel and that has worked for me. As for falling in love, I am without doubt sure there is someone out there for you that will indeed sweep you off of your feet at some point and when you do meet that person they will love you warts and all, they too will have their own issues (everyone does) and you will be able to help and support eachother which is what partnerships are all about. Now all you need is patience. I wish you love and luck. Lisa. x
Please don’t give up on yourself. There are things you can do that will help you. If you feel like holding down a job is extremely difficult you could apply for disability. I’m on disability because of my mental diagnoses, I can’t function in a job either. Are you in therapy? I’ve learned a lot of coping skills and it’s helped me deal with some things I struggled with before. It’s hard being a hopeless romantic and waiting for the love of your life to come around the corner. Keep looking, cuz one day you will find them. You could meet someone tomorrow and be happy forever. We never know what’s gonna happen and being down on yourself just kind makes things worse. There is hope for everyone, including you. Thank you for sharing! ~Mystrose
Hi Friend. Life is often so heavy. The weight of anxiety and depression adds a seemingly impossible amount of weight to an already huge load to carry. I’m so glad that you have found this community. We would love to walk alongside you. You are absolutely worthy of experiencing all of the good that life has to offer. Overcoming struggles can often feel so impossible. You’re not alone in that journey. I would also call myself a hopeless romantic so I understand where you’re coming from in feeling like it’s too far from reach. But love will always find you exactly where you are. You’re enough. You’re worthy of love. You’re worthy of all good things in life. I’m so glad you’re part of this community.
Naomi, I am so glad you are here and thought to reach out about your struggles that seem to be weighing you down and holding you back from the romantic dream you desire. Love is an action and anyone who truly loves you won’t see it as a burden to love you but a privilege. It comes in different forms and the love from your family might not be the same as the love from a friend or a boyfriend or husband. It sounds like you’ve been made to feel like your mental health has been a burden to those around you and that nobody should have to endure that. That feeling and lie must be so daunting and paralyzing to overcome. Everyday is a choice to love and to accept it in return. Whether or not loving someone is hard and can weigh on us, it’s a choice and taking care of ourselves to be available in those hard times will get us through. It sounds like you really cherish the things in life that make you feel special and noticed. There’s beauty in everything whether it’s you yourself and your authenticity or the world around you. There’s hope and in these dark times I pray you see it with eyes wide open. You’re worth it my friend.
