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From queensoft666: I think I’m too quick judge a situation.
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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/35080
From queensoft666: I think I’m too quick judge a situation.
Which is hard - because it can quickly trigger a response in you, that once you clear up that the initial judgment was off, is just plain exhausting to have wasted so many emotional resources on something that wasn’t right in the first place. But then again - you have this response trained in you because you have a REASON to be defensive. There’s been so much pain in your past, and so this is just…self-protection. It’s hard to un-teach that kind of thing, and re-learn security, because - what if it happens again?
hi queensoft, that is something we all do sometimes. maybe because of experience, maybe because of our mood.
everyone is handling situations different. sometimes we need a step back to go further. to take a short moment to
think of the outcomes. there is no wrong or right, there should only be learning. take care of yourself, you matter.
Hey queen. In many situations, it would be very difficult to admit this. Coming to the point of being able to recognize “I was wrong” displays a lot of humility. Not an easy exercise. It is inspiring that you’ve decided to take some time out of your day to share about this. We all have our very own patterns and thoughts and ways to perceive situations in our life. Judging too quickly may be a way for you, for your mind, to create meaning and control with these situations. Judging situations and people helps to make sense of them. Because if you don’t, then how to know if something or someone is safe? How to create your own way in life without being hurt or hurting others? It’s tough. But there is also a lot of strength in the acknowledgment of this pattern in your life. It’s the first step to bring perspective, to consider learning from the times when you may have judged too quickly. We all have our way to create meaning from the situations around us, most of it being tied to our personal story. I hope that, when you encounter these situations, it will become more and more for you something to see as an invitation to reflect on yourself, on your story, getting to know yourself more, and how the way you perceive others in the present may be influenced by previous experiences. I hope you also know that judging too quickly doesn’t make you a bad person, or someone failing others. It is a tendency that many of us have, and it completely makes sense. Sometimes, it’s the only way for us to survive and navigate in a world full of uncertainty. At some point in our journey though, we may not need these protections anymore, and want to unlearn ways to think that can be hurtful to us. I believe you can get there, little by little, with as much grace and patience as you deserve throughout this process. <3