Frustration with friendships

I must say, they’re all kind and everyone has flaws. But I’ve grown annoyed since these things have been continuous.


The usual group of us is three, me included. I have two other friends, but today I’ll only talk about-
Closest friend: x
Other friend: y
Online friend: z
For organization and briefness, I’ll quickly list my thoughts:

  • Whenever I attempt to speak, friend y interrupts/talks over me.
  • Friends x and y claim to have taken screenshots of my typos, share them with each other, then laugh at them.
  • Friend x can be dry, which is when I struggle to engage with them. Lousy responses: “okay, yeah, oh, alright” and nothing else to add to “our” conversation but then states how they like talking to me.
  • Friend x complains often and does nothing about it. Meanwhile, I try to think of a solution.
  • Whenever I come online, friend z always vents about their life instead of casual conversation.

I feel as though I don’t have friends anymore. Well, I’ve withdrawn, but I’m so tired of me being the only one making an effort. Maybe I allow it? I want someone to treat me, too, but I end up treating everyone else instead.

My relationships with these people feels unsatisfactory.

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Hello,

Thank you for sharing your experience with us! You seem to have been having a very difficult time with friendships lately. Friendships can be complicated; however, sometimes we are not compatible with people, and that’s okay. I am sorry that you feel you do not have friends anymore. I am sure there are many people out there who are compatible with you and would love to be your friend. You deserve to be respected and be in an honest, supportive, and communicative friendship.

If you do not mind, I would like to give you some advice. You do not have to follow any of my advice, but I want to help, and I feel that these will be helpful. Communicating these concerns with your friends is a good idea because it can lead to a heart-to-heart conversation and strengthen your friendships. However, I think that if you are very unsatisfied with your friendships with these specific people and they make you feel bad, you do not have to engage with these people, and there is nothing wrong with that; it just means you guys are not a right fit for each other, and that’s okay!

I am proud that you are noticing these traits and actively want to do something about it. It is not easy to speak up about friendship struggles, and you taking a step, and doing so is amazing! I hope this helped.

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Thank you.

I haven’t been able to find someone I completely mesh with but maybe my standards are too high. But I also don’t put myself out there. I’m not an outgoing and energetic person. I’m quite the opposite. I’m an introvert that would rather be ignored than noticed.

I have thought about confrontation but I’m not the best at that. The most I’ve done today is ask if they still laugh at my typos- “Not that often…you’ve also just made less mistakes…sometimes when things are spelled wrong, they’re funny.” I’m not the best at confrontation. I tend to let people do whatever they want with me to a limit until I snap. Again, I think my expectations for others are too high.

If I do not engage with them anymore, then I wouldn’t have any friends. Where I live, a lot of my interests aren’t reciprocated and a lot of people don’t even know that my likings exist. I’m homeschooled and I don’t belong to any groups. I’m a solitary person and the people I see the most is my family. I feel as though I’ll be more lonely but in all honesty, I don’t think much would change if they were never in my life to begin with.

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Hello,

Your standards are not too high; you deserve wonderful, honest friendships that uplift and make you feel good. Also, it’s okay; confrontations can be hard sometimes, and it takes time and progress, but one thing I know for sure is that there is someone out there with the same interests as you; you just haven’t met them yet! You. may not meet them right away, but I know you will meet them; sometimes, it happens when we least expect it! If you do not mind, I would like to give you advice, and of course, you do not have to do them if you don’t want to; I want to help :slight_smile: You can also put yourself out there and meet new people, little by little, or meet more people online because I saw that you said you had an online friend. I also recommend setting boundaries and not letting people do whatever they want to you if it makes you feel bad; there is nothing wrong with setting boundaries, and it is healthy to do so.

Also, taking a step and asking your friends about what was bothering you is amazing; you did something outside of your comfort zone, which isn’t easy. I’m very proud of you; be proud of yourself for doing something that wasn’t easy. I hope you feel better and this helped.

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I’m a person that doesn’t seem to get along with people. Not necessarily “get along with”, but click with. It’s as though there’s an awkward space between us, though that’s probably me.

I struggle to even make friends online. And well, it’s not the most reliable since there are sick people out there. There’s horrible people in the physical world, too, but they cannot hide behind a screen.

I need to learn how to set boundaries. I’m still trying to catch up socially because of the pandemic and then I was still being homeschooled afterwards. I let a lot slide with the mentality of “it’ll be over soon.”

I ended up telling friend x about my grievances if you’d call it that. It included the screenshots and me being interrupted. They have a tendency to overreact. I was only stating what was bothering me and then left it for the night but it seems they took it personally and that they have to “change.”