Fuck this world no one will ever help anyway and i

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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Slipknot Vermilion pt 2
fuck this world, no one will ever help anyway and I’m fed up with living with lost love

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It’s hard to know what to say to your post. Life is hard. It is obvious that you are in a great deal of pain. I know what it feels like to feel lost. Tell us what is happening so we may be able to help.

I wasted a chance for a woman who would break the ice in my heart because of my own stupidity
I knew not to lie to the woman I loved because she was resentful of it because of her ex
but I lied because I didn’t want her to find out that I couldn’t handle something even though I told her everything openly.
and she found out about it, I’ve been walking around without the will to live and drunk every day for over a week
For me, she is the perfect woman for whom I have been waiting all my life
laid down calm and patient
If I got her back, I would only tell the truth
I’m sorry for such a long statement but the feelings are a nasty whore that stay in my heart, I miss her like an idiot.

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This sounds really hard. I may be wrong about this, but you sound like you’re upset with yourself (as well as the circumstances and the way life can work sometimes). Plus missing her–that’s a lot to be feeling all at once.

It’s hard, but you’re strong. You can do hard things. You can get to the other side of this emotional storm, and then you’ll figure out what you want to do next. Give yourself patience and grace.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds like you’re carrying so much regret and pain, that can be so hard to bear. I know that the weight of lost chances, especially when someone was truly special can be so draining. It’s clear that you care deeply about her and that you recognize where things went wrong. It’s hard to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but remember that everyone makes them. All that matters now is how you move forward. Working on healing, becoming the person you want to be, this is how you start to forgive yourself. It’s okay to miss her and feel all the emotions you feel at the moment. Just please be gentle with yourself and above all be kind to yourself friend.

How you feel is understandable, friend. Nothing in what you’ve described would ever make you an idiot. There is no doubt that you love this person very much, and it must be disheartening to feel like the possibility of being with her would be gone. To feel like one mistake might have affected your relationship to a point of no return. It brings so much hopelessness and helplessness simultaneously when it feels like you’re facing a wall.

It’s hard to be in a position where it feels like you can only count your mistakes and feel all the regrets that go with it. You replay the same story in your mind, over and over, to try to see how things could have been different. It hurts to think of how things could have been, even more when we start telling ourselves how we think it should have been.

There is no doubt that, given the opportunity to do things differently moving forward, you would! And I deeply hope that you and her are going to have a second chance. The possibility to talk about what happened, to clarify, to find healing together. Sometimes in a relationship these moments of vulnerability are when we learn to get stronger together afterwards. Of course I don’t know the context of your relationship right now though, so this is truly a wish from the heart.

Beyond what the future holds, you deserve good things. You deserve forgiveness, and from yourself too. :heart:

I think it’s time to say goodbye, stay well

thank you for all the support, sorry for answering everyone at once, but it was a difficult time, I took a few days off and went on an alcoholic binge.
I still feel sorry for myself for letting her down so much that I’m afraid to write or call her.
and it’s getting more and more overwhelming, I don’t even turn on my phone.
When you finally find that someone, you feel in your heart that they’re the one and only person and nothing more is needed, and I’m losing hope of getting that one special person back.
thank you again for your answers, it’s nice to read them.
and I feel like an idiot because I knew what not to do and I did it anyway.