i’ll start with the progress
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Coding:
i started learning to do android apps using kotlin, i have an idea for an app i want to make, basically an app to help me learn japanese, not intending to make this app public, just a thing for personal use and portfolio. -
Music:
i absolutely love H&VL, I learned so much from it even though i read only like 50 pages, but i didn’t really get some stuff from it, it has some complicated concepts that i didn’t really get.
anyway, there’s a thing i wanted to ask about book reading, whenever i read few lines i ofter forget what i read and i re-read it tons of times to get it, also it’s hard to stay focused on the book, after like 5 minutes of reading i lose focus and it’s really annoying, does anyone have any tips or advice to what i can do to stay focused when reading something and getting stuff in one read so i don’t have to re-read it? -
Drawing:
today i drew the best drawing i ever made, and it took me like 2 and a half months to get there, i don’t really want to share it because it’s still looks like a 5 years old drawing, i’ll share art once i get much better at it. -
Story:
i decided to leave it for a while and only write small ideas i’ll have while doing the other stuff i’m doing, it’s anyway not that important as the other stuff for now and i anyway have a lot time till i even start developing the game, so it can wait a bit.
okay so now for the “life problems”:
university is hard, i should’ve taken less courses for the start, now i have a problem with it bc i barely understand anything and if i fail at any of the courses i’ll have to start over, and to start over i’ll have to pay for it again and it’s pretty expensive and i’m unemployed.
okay so the solution would be “get a job”, but first, it’s scary because i never worked before so i have no idea how it works, and second, i think i have social anxiety and i can’t communicate well with people. i’m scared of akward/embarresing situations (or situations where i make mistakes) and i try to avoid them at all cost, because when they happen i feel a kind of pain, and sometimes out of nowhere my brain remembers them and it hurts me again, and it does so pretty often and i try my best to forget those situations by distracting myself with something fun. so that’s why i try to avoid those situations, and jobs i feel like can be full of them.
so those are the reasons why i’m unemployed, and also why i want to be an indie game dev. also the second problem is also the reason why i don’t have friend or close relationships and why i feel lonely, but it’s been like this for a while now so i’m kinda used to the pain of loneliness.