From nconi: education is not the fight against ignorance, it’s against learning. i feel out of my body, lost, lonely, weak against this burden. i want to end it all. why to keep suffering.
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Hello there 
The three main challengez you face are extremely overwhelming and difficult to deal with. However you are not alone in dealing with the tough challenges you face. Reaching out here is a positive step in the right direction.
I would encourage you to reach out and lean on your support network - whether this is friends, family or professionals, they can all help you find a way through the immensely tough feelings you face, because you are not alone. You deeserve love and support
Being uncertain about your identity is tough, but it’s important to build a habit of accepting yourself for who you are and understanding the positive things about you - which I’m sure are many! It’s important to remember that Gender Dysphoria is a deep sense of unease or unhappiness regarding the the gender you were born as. If this is something you are struggling with, healthcare professionals can help you!
Academic achievements mean nothing if it means they impact your mental health negatively. Your school, college or university journey is nowhere near as important as your mental health. Your teaching staff are there to support you, so perhaps creating a meeting might be useful to discuss your struggles.
As someone who also struggles with their identity, I came across this TEDX speech, which I felt was very powerful and moving: https://youtu.be/rs2Z2O-OgdA?si=1RUgdb4VDrgJE6qf
As much as validation can come from others, you must also self-validate. It’s important to connect with communities that share your struggles. This will reduce loneliness and increase your own sense of validator and belonging
Keep on keeping on! Your doing amazing 
