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Girlfriend of 4 years cheated on me. Struggling to cope

Like the title says my girlfriend of 4 years cheated on me. I’m having a hard time understanding it all and I have no one to help me through it. I still love her I really do. I haven’t forgiven her and I don’t know if I ever will but I don’t wish anything bad upon her.

Everyone I try talking to just shits on her and says really mean and rude things which while they may ultimately be true even if I don’t see it that way, it’s not what I want to hear about someone I love even when they’re the ones that put me in this hole.

I just feel alone with a giant hole in my heart.

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I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you, it’s never an easy feeling and I hate that you’re going through this.

Sadly, when people are involved - they tend to take sides and they feel like saying bad things about her will cheer you up, but no one ever stops to think that just because they did a horrible thing - doesn’t mean you love them any less and it ultimately just makes you feel worse.

I don’t understand human nature sometimes…

If you need someone to talk to, I’m always here. I hope that you can find a way through your pain and not let it consume you . :heart:

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Hey JPerez57,

I am so sorry that your girlfriend cheated on you. That is truly one of the most horrifying things a loved one can do. You aren’t alone my friend. I also got cheated on by my last ex gf. I didn’t know until a month later & only when she got drunk that the truth spilled and it broke me as well. I had a hard time coping with this as I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to lose her, so I stayed with her, but let me tell you this. Things NEVER got better for me at least. She never respected me and never stayed true to her word about change. Till this day I struggle with her infidelity as it doesn’t piss me off as it should, but just know you aren’t alone.

You deserve someone who will respect you. Someone who knows how long it took you to get that respect and not just let ANYONE take it or spit on it. Being cheated on is one of the worst things out there, and you deserve more than that my friend. You just need some time alone and figure out what you want & if there is a possibility that change is possible for the best. Hang in there and we’re all here to help.

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Thank you i’ll keep that in mind I really appreciate your words.

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Unfortunately this isn’t the first time so I can’t just try again and expect change if it hasn’t happened by now. I didn’t see this one coming at all. I don’t hate her or wish anything bad to happen to her. I’m really just hurt and struggling to understand how she could do that.

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Hey J, 15 years ago I was in a relationship for 2 years and found out I had been cheated on. It left a hole in my heart as well. I struggled for many, many years with it, numbing it with alcohol and by diving into another relationship. I know it’s going to be hard to hear this, but it’s just going to take time. What you do with that time, will ultimately decide on how you heal from this. Show yourself an incredible amount of self love and compassion. If you don’t know how, there’s plenty of material to read up on if you google it. I wish I had known then, what I knew now. Ride through all the emotions the best you can without numbing them. Best of luck. It will pass!

R

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I think those people are trying to protect you and be supportive of you. I understand this feeling though, and people just don’t know the feelings you have for this person, which is why it’s so easy for them to make judgments. You just need time to sort through your emotions on your own, without any one else influencing those emotions, and then do what is best for you.