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God I feel insane

I feel like I’m insane.

I keep convincing myself that the worst-case scenario when it’s coming to physical health is the most likely one. Right now I’ve convinced myself I’m having a heart attack when I’m young, I eat healthily, AND I run on a cross country team. It is HIGHLY improbable that I’m having a heart attack but because my chest is hurting and it’s radiating into my arm (which I have half a mind to blame on acid reflux), I’ve convinced myself I’m having a heart attack

That isn’t the only thing either. A while ago I convinced myself I had diabetes, then I convinced myself I had intestinal cancer, then pancreatitis, then slipping rib syndrome. It never stops. I just keep convincing myself there’s really something wrong. I’m seeing a doctor next week, but I’m so tired of being in pain and telling myself that I’m dying. It’s an endless cycle of torment. I have somatic symptoms from my anxiety, and my anxiety tells me I’m dying when I feel that pain. It just doesn’t end and I want it to stop, but even if I saw my doctor, who saved my life just a few years ago, I feel like he’d miss something.

I sound so god damn insane. I look up my symptoms all the time even though I know I won’t find anything new. I just need to see a doctor and get treatment and then I’ll finally be able to rest a bit for the first time in a month.

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Hey there @TheRats, I can definitely see where you’re coming from, I have been in this situation a lot. First off, you are 100% not insane, I promise. I know this stuff can be scary but it’s important to learn to trust your body and how it works. I’d highly recommend going to your primary doctor and getting a full health workup so they can show you that nothing is wrong. After that, I’d say try to find a therapist or counselor who can really help you find out why you think and feel these things. Sometimes finding the cause of things is more important than finding the solution. Remember that you’re never alone, hold fast friend.

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Hey, I have experienced something very similar to what you’re talking about. It’s called “health anxiety”, and it’s so extremely frustrating. I was venting about it to my husband the other day and he said “you just have an overactive desire to live.”, and I honestly can’t think of a better way to describe it. It sounds like you try your hardest to take care of yourself, which is a good thing, and then you can’t help yourself but to worry that things are going horribly wrong. I personally think this happens because in those of us who have Generalized Anxiety or other anxiety disorders, we are always watching and waiting for things to go wrong, and if things “feel” okay, then sometimes our brains can conjure things up to be worried about.

I wonder if it would help to look at the physical things you may be experiencing and see if there is some way that anxiety could actually be the culprit. If it’s hard to breathe, you could simply be having an anxiety attack. If your head hurts, it could just be a stress headache. Things like that.

There are a lot of people who go through what you are going through, and just know that this community is here for you. I hope you feel better soon!

Cyber

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