I have recently been going through a rough time with a girl I’ve been talking to. I care deeply and she’s been going through alot recently too. I offered her my support to just be there for her through it all but the way she deals with things is isolating herself and ignoring everyone. So when my acts of kindness get ignored I feel worthless. When she tells me she needs space to heal I try to give her that but I’m only human and I enjoyed talking with her and just wanted her to open up. Again, to just offer my support. I recently found out that the “space” she needed was to get to spend time with this other guy. Obviously I was upset about this because I felt lied to. She said she cared for me and wanted a future with me. But then said I was “suffocating” her when all I was doing was trying to be there for her. Now she’s with this other guy.
Im trying to focus on God during this and know that with how deeply I care for people, God will send the right girl my way when He is ready. I have felt like my timing is always wrong. My choice in girls is always wrong. But it’s hard to understand when God gave us free will. When do I know it’s His timing? When will I know it’s not my own selfish wants vs His plan for me?
I know this may sound all over the place but honestly I just feel like a mess right now… I need God and I need support. I want to let go and let God but idk when He is working in my life or if I’m making the wrong choice in believing my actions are God’s plan. It’s hard to know when something/someone is sent by God.
I hope this makes sense and I hope to hear from someone soon.
Same thing happened to me and I don’t understand why he left and ended up deleting be and blocking me from everywhere. 2 months passed and it still hurts.
This probably isn’t the answer you want to her, but let her go. She’s trying to not hurt you, but if she’s with someone else, she’s not interested. You can’t control how others feel to your benefit, nor should you except their favor for your terms of self fulfillment.
Someone has been looking for you their whole life. Keep your mind and heart open so you can find your way to each other. That is God’s way.
Lay her before the LORD, my brother. Give your broken friendship to Him. He is the only One who can help you to get through this situation you are in. You love her. You really do. This post shows you are a compassionate person. It hurts when someone you love doesn’t appreciate it until it is too late. If you need prayer, let me know. I’m sorry she is treating you like that. I hope you are hanging on. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
@AVJR Yes, actually I could use some prayer. I really appreciate your response. I’ve been praying alot but just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve done all I can but I need to let this go and let God work this out.
Thank you for sharing your struggles with us. It’s take courage! This has been a struggle for me too. One thing I have learned recently is that when I pray to God and ask for assurance he is there. I needed a sign about something big in my life and I asked for it. He gave me what I needed to know. The hard part was that it was not at all what I wanted. In fact it was the opposite of what I wanted and it broke my heart. I am still waiting for God to provide in that way, sometimes I wonder if he ever will, but I can’t know everything and I just keep beleiving in his timing.
@Bean That’s what’s hard for me. I ask for signs all the time and I can’t tell what they are. Is her leaving the sign? Is me still thinking about her after everything a sign or just my ignorance? I can hear a song and think it’s a sign but the next day hear another song with the opposite meaning and think that’s a sign. So I never know what I should do. It’s something I’ve struggled with for a while. It’s difficult and I just need clarity.
I have been in and out of really bad relationships in the past. In my experience, i can truely say, that when God sends you someone, it will work out without you even trying. God wants what is best for you… a person that puts you second, is not what is best for you. I completely understand the part where you feel like you are over analysing signs. Dont overthink… if a relationship is meant to be, it will be easy, it will be your safe place. Not something that u need to fight to keep it alive.
I never thought i would meet someone, today i can honestly say that im the happiest i have EVER been. God gave me WAY more than what i could have ever hoped for. U too, deserve this. And deserve to have someone that makes u a priority, not a second choice.
I be specific about the sign. I will pray " God please do this, if this is what I need" or something like that. Right now I am stuck on someone who isn’t ready for a relationship but I really like him. God has shown me that right now this is what I should be doing. That could change but you never know.
@Empty I really appreciate your reply. And you are right. I shouldn’t be a second choice. I have talked with her recently and she says she still has feelings for me she just needs space. My anxiety is taking over my mind and saying she needs this space just to see the new guy more. But I don’t want to believe that. If it is or isn’t true, I should take this time to just focus on me. I’m not sure what to do when she does come back after this time of space… Idk if I should still talk with her about a future with me or just let this time be a time of healing for me and move on. I’m stuck. Any advice there?
Hey there! I completely understand where you are coming from. It is a challenge at times to know when God is leading us down a certain path and what we should do. I would suggest to allow yourself to feel this pain. Yes, God wants you to go to Him with it but He doesn’t want the pain to be off put with “it’s just His plan”. There is a reason God put this girl in your life and it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes He does put people in our path to test us and allow us to go through pain because He knows we can grow from it. I would suggest to dive into His word and ask Him to help you understand why all of this is happening and then find the ways He is trying to talk to you. It doesn’t happen over night but once you take a moment and listen then you’ll hear his answers.
@MaddieBianca Thank you so much! Its difficult because this is very similar to a time before with a girl who decided to just drop me off completely and that hurt more than anything. I thought I learned a lesson from that time but going through this again seems to be bringing up alot of memories. I am starting to think badly about myself thinking it’s something I’m doing. Is caring too much about someone a thing? It’s just hard when I’m such a loving and compassionate person to be denied when my intentions are so pure.
Actually yes, caring about someone too much is a thing. It’s good to have a balance (especially in the beginning) between guarding yourself while also showing care towards another person. Along with that, though, my dad has always said “when you put yourself out there then you’re also putting your heart out there” which I find so true in the dating world. It’s a risk and broken hearts come with that risk. I would also make sure (through God) your intentions are pure because all of us are humans and we don’t always have pure intentions when we think we do. In God’s time you will find someone. You just have to experience some bad ones to appreciate the good He will put in your life.
In my experience, when you love someone, u dont push them away. I understand what u are saying when u say she deals with things by isolating herself, however, to me this looks like an excuse. Because why does she make time for someone else? In my relationship, my person is my safe place. When i need “space”, i get it… But as it states in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-5 - “…love is not self-seeking” - and with that i mean that if you truely love someone, you would ALWAYS consider how the other person feels and what u are putting them through. My advice would be to move on. U deserve better. Dont ever fall into the cycle of excepting less than what you deserve.
@Empty thank you. I needed to read that today. It’s going to be hard because I’m all in when something like this happens. Prayers would be greatly appreciated because this is not easy for me
@MaddieBianca@Empty@SadGirl@AVJR@Bean@Rix please pray for me. I’m digging myself a hole and don’t know what to do. I can’t figure out what my mind is saying and what my heart is saying. I feel like I’m being a complete idiot. Some encouraging words would be nice as well. I just need strength and to know I’m enough
You don’t need anyone’s approval or love except God’s. Keep searching through him and he will guide you. I believe in you. Love yourself, love your god, and the rest will follow.
You’re not an idiot. We deserve better. Feelings are complicated but we learn from our experiences and we move on. Life is hard, just be happy, do what makes you happy and enjoy life. Love is something weird but we’ll get over it. You’re so not alone.
@B.Long
You are not an idiot… Maybe confused and overwhelmed with emotion, but definitely not an idiot. U were brave enough to trust someone with your heart and feelings. She let you down. This defines her character, not yours.
You are hurting now, but this too shall pass.
You are strong enough to use this as a stepping stone and to not let it get the best of you.
I can tell that you are someone with a real soft heart and that you are the kind of person that gives it your all. My wish is that you will realise that you are worthy of getting the same in return. Dont settle for less than what you deserve. And remember that u are only human. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, but dont let it overwhelm you.
@B.Long, I would like to suggest to look to God for your strength and to know you’re enough. Do you believe God is enough? If so, I want to remind you of this verse: “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” -Genesis 1:27
If God is enough and we are created in HIS image then we are enough. It’s really hard to believe this because Satan keeps nipping at us but it’s a good one to try and remember and I hope this is helpful for you
