Hey friend, I hear you. Feeling hopeless is like being stuck in this never-ending storm where the clouds just won’t let up. It’s this heavy, suffocating weight on your chest that makes it hard to breathe. You wake up each day feeling like you’re carrying this invisible burden that takes your energy and removes any possibility for light. It’s hard to see the way forward. Every step feels uncertain and exhausting, and you start to wonder if it’s worth even trying anymore. The days blur together, each one feeling like a repetition of the last, with no relief in sight.
I’ve felt the way you do at different seasons of my life, but especially while dealing with the realms of clinical depression and complex ptsd. There are times when waking up felt like a poisoned gift, an unwanted burden. I could feel all the weight of life in a second, of how much effort it would take to keep on waking up, getting on my two feet and trying to survive. It’s exhausting to feel this emptiness that hollows you out from the inside. It’s a type of numbness that makes it hard to connect with others or find joy in the things you used to love. With time, you start to wonder if you’re not even the problem. It’s not that you want to die, but rather that you wish the pain and heaviness would just stop.
I want you to know that how you feel is valid. You’re not weak or flawed for struggling with these thoughts and feelings. You’re not broken for going through such a rough time, and none of it would define who you are or what your future could look like. There are people out there, people like me, who face similar battles with their mental health, even though it feels like you’re alone in it.
I hope you can take each moment as it come. You’re not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and believe in you. You can make it through this painful journey, and it’s okay to welcome people into your own world in order for them to help you, encourage you, bring you hope when it feels like it is entirely gone. You matter so much and deserve to wake up feeling with a sense of excitement and joy for what’s yet to come.