So, I don’t know why, but today was just a miserable day for me. I couldn’t stand work. I work in a grocery store (first job I’m 17) and I love it with all my life. It’s always my favorite place to be and I’d much prefer working there all the time like I do now then being in high school. Anyways, today was stressful because the lines just never ended the whole five hours I was there. I was stressed from that already, and then I found out that a new girl who works there and is best friends with one of my friends just got in a car accident and from what I’ve heard the car is probably totaled. She’s okay, but it made me so upset because she literally just bought it she’s only like 18 and shouldn’t have to worry about something like that happening. Last night she and one of our other friends were all hanging out in her car and it just feels unreal. Then, as if the day couldn’t get any worse, the girl I like started texting me and asking if I was mad because I hadn’t texted her today. That got me mad because she was treating me like I was obligated to be all over 24/7- something that’s very difficult for me because I love her but she doesn’t feel the same way. So, after a bunch annoying texts from her saying “I’m a bad friend” and “I’m sorry I’m not there for you more” etc. I get home and I message her back. I inform her that I was not particularly mad at her today and that I was just busy, but that while we were on the topic I’d let her know that I am upset about something. So, the other night I had a thread on here about her and talking about how I’m basically the guy she falls on for emotional support, but she’ll never actually go out with me no matter how much guys fuck her over. So, I told her how that made me mad tonight and then she was all like “I’m sorry I won’t tell you those things anymore” and then I said “no it’s not you getting upset that hurts me- it’s that I’m basically the opposite of everything you say you hate about guys and you’ll come to me for everything, but you won’t give me a chance. And she just basically ended up saying she feels bad because she knows she feels no spark with me and she doesn’t want to lie and go out with me because it’s not right or fair to either of us. So, after hearing that (I think that’s what I wanted to hear) that was kinda it. I told her I still want to be there for her and she can tell me anything whether it’s guys or anything else and that today was just a bad day and that I was sorry. So, while I’m happy that’s gotten taken care of and I feel I got the closure I’ve truly wanted today still was just awful and I feel bad because I feel like now she’s not going to want to tell me anything and bottle her feelings up, which is the exact opposite of what I want- I want her to feel safe and loved just like she does for me when I express my sorrows to her
Bro its really good to hear the you were able to talk to her about your feelings and tell her how you feel and that you can feel better. I do think tho that how you want her to feel might already be how she feels especially since she is able to openly share her struggles with you.
Thanks Sandia! Yeah I think things are good between me and her. We’re going running again tomorrow. I was just concerned because she just kept repeating how she wouldn’t tell me about “that stuff” anymore and while it’s kinda a relief in the sense that I don’t have to worry about it bringing back the memories of me liking her, like I said I do still want her to feel comfortable. Only time will tell, but either way I feel better already!
Well its good your feeling better already. Nd i undertand how hard it can be when some one doesn’t wanna share something or is very vague. And its good shes hanging with you its already a sign she comfortable.