Since I can remember, my life has been painful and full of anguish. There comes a point where even the strongest person breaks down, when the emotionless person cries. For 7 years I have tried to stay sturdy. But it eventually caught up. In that sense, I’m weak.
It should not be the question of “why” but rather “how much pain were you in?” Meaning, how far in despair did you have to be agonized until it was too much. Every moment, event, and situation has been adding up into the most horrific collection. I am scarred both mentally and physically. My body has been appreciated for what it could do but it has also been taken for granted and swooned over. The innocence of my mind has been taken. I’ve been in and seen the deepest cracks of the earth where the most disgusting of people reside. I have stood on the line between sanity and insanity.
To all those who have helped me, thank you. The list goes on way too long but you know who you are. You made me feel good in the meantime while I was so overwhelmed. I’m still unsure how to accept such giving kindness.
To all those who hurt me, I forgive you. I wish you well. But your actions towards me are those that you will come to regret. And so I hope when you think of me, you pity yourself.
I appreciate and I’ve taken for granted all the kindness I’ve received, the endless amount of support. Just the sheer willingness to even glance a look. It meant more to me than I can describe. Thank you everyone for being there to listen when all I could do was complain. I’m so sorry for not being strong enough.
My favorite song-
“Wow, we’ll the be stars!!”