I didnt know how to answer her. I dont know why I’m in therapy either. At first, it was to get help but as I go through my weeks and the more I talk about my feelings, I just want to kill myself. I don’t feel this life is worth continuing. I’m not interested in living nor anything. I’ve been planning my suicide for the passed few months too. I don’t want to live for anything and I have nothing to live for.
I know people post here for help but I’m just typing my thoughts out because I have no one else to talk to. I can’t talk to my therapist about my real thoughts because it’s just gonna get me hospitalized which is gonna cost me $3,000. I’d rather kill myself debt free than pay that off and try to enjoy my life.
I know people are gonna tell me I’m wrong, I need to change my way of thinking, or I need to do something positive or something new. What if none of the above works?
I just really want to die. There’s nothing for me in this life, which is good. I wouldn’t want to be fooled that this is a good life.