Got kinda rough last night (tw: physical abuse, self-harm)

I was finally getting better, with the whole showering everyday thing, since I’m going to school now, I try to look decent when I leave the house to go in public, and even when I try to look decent I still have major insecurities about my appearance like that I look fat even though I only weight 116 pounds, as a 5’5 tall, 15-year-old girl. But last night I wanted and needed to shower, but I forgot it was 9 pm and my dad forces me to go to bed around 9 pm, so I asked him if I could still shower since I’m on a streak of showering every night. And he was ignoring me and told me to just go to bed. So I started getting angry since time shouldn’t matter if it’s like 9:02 pm and my bedtime is 9 pm, I think I should be allowed to get a shower since I’m so damn motivated to take one. I ended up arguing, and I got beat with my dad’s belt. And I also got called stupid for self-harming. I ended up cutting myself too so that was one hell of a night.


hi @brokenglass !
firstly thanks for sharing. it is hard to open up to strangers, so thank you for that again :heart:
your dad should be more calm and kind with you from my opinion, he is not a good parent, i mean he probably loves you but he doesnt do the right things.
self-harming is bad but we feel good while doing it, im sh clean for 15 days now, im proud. i give you a task try to stay clean for at least 3 days, and if you do it, reply to this.
bianka :wink:


Hello @brokenglass Thank you so much for writing friend!

I am so sorry to hear that you have relapsed on not taking a shower and doing your nighttime routines.

You are NOT stupid for self harming. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.

I find that self harm often is used as a way to cope with pain, whenever you don’t have a way. Please know it is not the way of coping with your pain. Please know you are loved and you matter.

With love

Hey @brokenglass,

As mentioned on a different post of yours, the way you were treated by your dad that night is not okay. I know you mentioned it only in one sentence as part of your message, and maybe it’s been happening for a long time so it’s part of what would be kind of normal to you, but I can assure that being beated with his belt is not normal. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, regardless of the reasons behind. The issue about the shower before could bring an argument, but not physical harm. As a parent, a dad is someone who has the responsibility to provide you safety, including physical safety. If you are not safe where you are living, it’s important to reach out to appropriate services and receive the support you need, both for you and the rest of your family. The Support Wall is an awesome place to discuss, but we also want you to be safe and to support you in receiving the help you need. Safety, physical safety, is something you are allowed to know. If your dad isn’t able to provide that to you, he’ll need to be helped to learn that too.

I’d like to encourage you to reach out to one of the following helplines, depending on where you live:

If you can’t find any resource for your country there, please let us know, and we can look into it together.

I’m aware that, by reading all of this,you may get a little scared and overwhelmed. But those feelings would be normal, and okay. I’ve been in your situation. I endured for many years abuses that I didn’t deserve, from my mom, and it’s because I’m a grown adult now and not in this environment anymore that I know how much being in a healthier environment is important. It was important for me, and it’s important for you.

We want the best for you, friend. And being safe where you are is a fundamental need for your well-being. Please let us know how it goes for you. Give us updates. Share your thoughts, or fears, anything that you would like to share. We can talk about it, without any judgment.

You’re not alone. :hrtlegolove:

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