Backstory before we get into this-
I’m the disrespectful child now because I said no to going to church. I don’t want to, its not something I want to participate in. And I don’t hate Christians or anything, I just don’t want to go.
Had three different people scream into my ear canals today and I pretty much set myself up for a more damaged family relationship.
It hurt A LOT
I had to do so much squeezing into myself to not collaspe and stand firm.
My younger brother seems to think I’m brave because earlier he told me he felt like he was too weak to think for himself. I damaged every other relationship but somehow I rebuilt the one I had with him.
And honestly, as long as I have him on my side, I’ll be okay. He smiles at me and gives me thumbs up occasionally today.
I don’t hate anyone, I don’t hate my mom, or my dad, or my grandmother on my dad’s side.
I just thought maybe I should speak my truth more. I just don’t like pretending. Now that I’m more confident in myself, I’m finding myself wanting to break free from stuff.
I never got to say no growing up and it was painful, now I want to say it all the time even at the expense of my relationship with my parents.
NOW that I’ve rocked the boat, well actually I sunk it
I need to figure out how to fend for myself because now I know they won’t be so kind to be. I’ve been looking up simple jobs I could for someone like me who has no experience. I’m gonna learn how to cook and manage money on my own.
And I really need advice as soon as possible. I’m gonna be 18 in 2 and a half months.
I really want to be free, I’ve somehow kicked myself into this situation like it was destined to happen. At some point I was gonna get tired of just complying and taking things. And I hope I’m not in the wrong for this.
My main thing is learning how to work and get a job. I’m socially awkward with no work experience and very little skill so I need someone to tell me what to do with that.