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Grandmother had a injury today

Today suck, had kinda help my parents put a door in before work. While my dad not letting me help him and always treat me like an idiot doing house. Was ready having impulse and last I had very violent impulse thoughts. Did got to skateboard before work then I got call from my mom that nanny was go ER. She had fell to ground, hit her head and hurt her leg.
A lot different emotions happen first was guilt, cuase I had go to work ( due from being sick and low on staff). Also not being there for my mom.

It been shitty working, late at shift dealing with this fuck up situation and today just fucking suck. This weekend already suck from being sick, having violent impulse thoughts, feeling lonely and dealing with my abuse parents.

This going sound fuck up, I don’t want feel about my grandma, I fo feel terrible for my mom. But I a lot a resentment toward my grandmother. She tell my mother we not good people. We don’t she Christian views, so she think we going hell and just bad people. She tell you never a good son to your mother, and that you need god in your life. She use tell when I shave my head, girl won’t like me and think that I’m ugly. She abuse person, that guilt trip my mother over the years. She did not even aloud my mother to use a tampon cuase according to her that a son. She also have unjustified hatred towards my dad, saying he a bad person and never did anything for us.

I wish people see this side my grandmother, the fuck things she does to people. She reason why I feel I’m shitty human being and that don’t deserve redemption. That selfish for thinking for my self, follow my path and living not her views.

I don’t know what to feel

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You are able to see how negative and judgmental she is towards others, and know that she is wrong about them. She is wrong about you too. When she is saying hateful things about others, she is projecting the contents of her mind, and is actually verbalizing a self-report. Actually, she sounds a lot like my mom who among other things had a personality disorder.

It’s true, people usually assume that an older lady is a sweetheart. I think most of them are, but there are exceptions, like your grandma.

As a nurse, I learned to treat the horrible people as well as the nice ones. At times, kindness and professionalism that was consistent, despite the patient’s attempt to cause upset, would really upset the patient instead. Your grandma is really trying to mess with your minds. She probably feels miserable, and wants you guys to feel miserable with her.

If you want to get even with her, remain calm and pleasant, regardless of what she says. Show her that you’re calm state of mind has more power than her meanness and pettiness.

You are in a self-control “boot camp.” If you can keep your emotions from escalating around her, you will be far better at coping with other irritating people as well.

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