Guarding in a Relationship

I’ve been in a relationship (m&f) for about 3 months now, and we are very into each other. We chat consistently and always talk about how we love each other. We are both barely underage, so we are fairly inexperienced when it comes to many things. One of these things is kissing. Neither of us has had our first kiss and almost simultaneously decided to share that experience with each other. However, I have always been guarded when it comes to anything remotely sexual. Sex is basically out of the question until I’m at least in college. However, I really want to kiss him when we meet up next, and I think he wants to kiss me too. I am just very worried about Covid. Both of my parents are higher risk people, and my partner is pretty nonchalant about life and covid. They do get tested about twice a week for work, but they also still go into school everyday. If covid was not a thing, I would be super excited about having my first kiss, but I don’t want to skip my life experiences because of it.

Another thing, my last relationship ended because I was not “putting enough effort into the relationship” as they put it. I feel like this was because I wasn’t able to go on enough dates or kiss them. Im worried that this will happen again, and I really don’t want to loose my current partner, but I also don’t want to risk my parents. My partner is understanding, but I dont want them to have to wait on me to be completely ready all the time. They have introduced me to so many things that I was otherwise uncomfortable with before the relationship (visually, not physically) and made me realize more about my self in the process. This is why I want to show them i love them. Any tips on making this situation work out…? Thank you


Hey, @HelpfulFriend! I read your post, and I understand really wanting to take that “next step” in a relationship but being kind of afraid to. One thing I would recommend is not rushing yourself or pushing yourself to do something if you’re unsure about or not necessarily ready for it. COVID is a very valid concern, and it may not be worth taking that risk until COVID becomes more controlled, which may not be too far off. Do you think there are some other ways you can show your SO how much you care about them in the meantime? While kissing can be one of the more popular ways to show you care about someone, there are some other ways to do this too, like giving gifts, spending quality time together, or even just hugging each other.

If your SO loves you and wants to be with you, they should be able to be patient until you are ready to kiss them. Mutual respect is something that no relationship can survive without, and there is no shame in holding off on kissing, especially with the current circumstances.


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