Guys am I spiralling

[Cora]

Welp. Now I’m in eight grade, and I have a big exam by the end of the year I need to study for. But, I’m already off on the wrong foot.

My head teacher has a lot of expectations for my class, and wants us to work on model tests while we learn this year’s material. Besides that and the 15 book reports I have to fill out, my parents also decided to limit my laptop access to just 2 hours on school days.

Like, mom, dad, I know you want the best for me. But I think it’s a bit overkill with everything else I have to do this year.

And to add salt on the wound, I distinctly remember my head teacher saying that “we start the year strong, but end up loosing steam near the end.” And then she gives us so many things we need to do in the span of nine months max. Gee, I wonder why we get so tired and sick of your shit…

Anyhow, all of this combined has been fucking with my head and I feel as though I’m gonna lose it. I still use music and art to cope, but with the limited screen time, I feel like it won’t work in the long run.

I really don’t know what to do. It’s barely been a month in school, and I want to quit already.

[tromboness]

That is a lot on your plate with the tests, the book reports, and having limited time to decompress on your laptop. It is stressful and exhausting just thinking about it. And hearing how so many students in the past lose their momentum makes it seem hopeless to try in the first place. There is so much required in order to be successful in the current world, and it feels inevitable to run out of steam and be in a perpetual burnout state.
I often find myself in burnout. At those times, I can only focus on what’s important in that moment. Burnout makes me scared to try again. One of the things that I’ve learned on my journey is that it’s okay to find ways to do things in a different way than others that works for you. I find that having a creative outlet keeps me going.
I hope that you are able to find a way to make this year successful that works for you. And on the days that you feel like a failure or want to give up, know that you are more than your accomplishments. I hope that you are able to rest when the stress is too much.
Hold Fast. We Believe in You.

[elizabethcv]

Hey Cora,

Thank you for reaching out here and sharing what you’re going through. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your struggles, so I’m proud of you for doing so. I want you to know that I hear you and you are not alone.

I’m really sorry that you’re having a tough time. 8th grade can be challenging for so many different reasons, but I want you to know that there is hope for things to get better. It sounds like you’re feeling very overwhelmed right now (which happens to everyone from time to time), and it is completely normal/okay to feel this way. The pressure of school, especially with so many assignments and exams, can feel like a lot to handle—and it’s understandable that you’re struggling with it all.

While some stress can be helpful for us by motivating us to complete our work, too much stress can be detrimental by interfering with our performance (which no one wants). I have been in your shoes many times, and I remember how overwhelming 7th and 8th grade was with friendships, extracurriculars, and tough/demanding teachers who assigned seemingly never-ending schoolwork. However, I want you to know that you will get through this, and you are stronger than you think you are. The important thing is to find strategies that work best for you to manage your stress so it doesn’t build up to the point of feeling overwhelmed.

When I was in middle school, I remember feeling as though the weight of the world was on my shoulders—kind of like you’re feeling now. I was also frustrated with my parents for limiting my (and my little brother’s) screen time. With everything going on—friends, extracurriculars, and tough teachers—I reached a point of burnout just a couple of months into the school year because I kept my feelings and the fact that I was overwhelmed to myself. I felt like I had messed up the entire year by “starting it off on the wrong foot” and I remember thinking there was no hope for me to turn it around.

There were a few things that helped me during that time that I think could maybe help you too.

The first (and, for me, the most important) thing that helped me was talking to my parents about my feelings regarding school and screen time restrictions. Because they wanted the best for me, they listened to me when I opened up and ended up compromising with me—allowing me to have more screen time during the week. This change helped by allowing me to get my schoolwork done more efficiently while also enjoying some free time on my screens. Looking back, I think one of the biggest reasons my parents ended up compromising with me was that they hadn’t experienced 8th grade in over 30 years. Plus, they realized that my curriculum was much more rigorous than theirs had been, and they didn’t fully understand how stressed and overwhelmed I was. Acknowledging this, they recognized my need for more computer time to complete all my work. All of this is to say that I think talking to your parents could potentially lead to a similar compromise—giving you a bit more flexibility that still respects their concerns.

In the meantime, however, I think using your 2 hours of screen time in a way that supports you the most might help you in feeling less overwhelmed. Perhaps prioritizing important tasks or breaking them down into smaller, more manageable chunks to make everything feel more achievable will help you feel better and more organized. Also, it is so important to remember to set aside time each week for the things that bring you joy and peace of mind, like music and art. These activities are crucial for taking care of yourself and can help prevent burnout.

Another thing that really helped me was advocating for myself with my teachers. Since I learned a bit differently than some of my peers, self-advocacy quickly became an important life skill. As such, it might be beneficial for you to meet with your head teacher (or maybe even a school counselor if you’re able to) to develop a game plan for managing your workload. They can provide valuable strategies that can make the work feel less daunting by helping you stay organized and prioritize your tasks.

Lastly, I want you to know that it is perfectly normal to feel like quitting when everything piles up, and it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Although it may seem overwhelming right now, I want you to know that it’s not too late for you to get things back on track. Just remember to take things one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out to your parents, friends, and teachers for help and support. They all care about you and want the best for you. Ultimately, opening up about your feelings might help them understand your perspective better.

You are not alone in this, and all of us here at HeartSupport care about you and want the best for you as well. Please don’t hesitate to reach back out to us for support whenever you need it. There’s always hope for brighter days ahead, and I believe in you, Cora. You’ve got this!

Love,
Elizabeth