Handling post-breakup depression

My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago, and I’ve been really struggling with it. I thought this was the girl that I was going to marry, that God put her into my life, and that she was everything I ever wanted, but now I just feel lost. I know these things take time, but I’ve found myself spiraling into darker thoughts and getting gradually worse rather than better.

All my emotions came to a head this past week, when after seeing her at a couple church events I found myself completely hopeless. I couldn’t help but think of slamming my car into oncoming traffic on my way home, and I prayed for God to kill me. Thankfully I didn’t do anything, and God left that prayer unanswered, but I was still shuttering at the thoughts passing through my mind. I’d been in that dark place before about a year ago, but I thought I had left it behind and wouldn’t be back. I felt so stupid, like I’d failed by letting a breakup throw me back down after making it as far as I had.

I prayed in that moment, barely even believing in God as I did, that he’d speak to me through the encouragement of others. On Wednesday I saw that happen in 2 ways: a friend of mine I had told about my situation reached out to me and offered to talk things through more, and (with the help of Facebook’s ad matching algorithms) found the Mountains devotional and heartsupport. The past few days have been an upswing in my life, just looking at all the stories on here and seeing the encouragement. I’m just so thankful for this community and for seeing the hands and feet of Jesus at work in new ways.

I don’t know what’s coming next. My emotions have been very roller-coaster-y, and I could be back down again come tomorrow morning. I don’t think my journey with this struggle is done yet, but I’m optimistic for the future. I really mostly just want to say thank you for everyone on here.

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To be honest, I really didn’t expect for your post to end with optimism the way that it did. The best part of all of this is that you see Gods work at hand. I’m not sure your age, but I’ve been in quite a few relationships that I thought were going to last a lot longer than they did, and I believed I met the girl of my dreams a few times, just to have her change course and be a completely different girl than who I fell in love with. I’m 27 now, and dating now-a-days is a lot harder than when our parents and grandparents were together and most people fell in love and stayed in love, you know the whole “til death do us part” thing? You’re most likely going to go through a lot of relationships until you find the actual one, but don’t be discouraged. Keep your head up and keep searching. I can promise you, a girl who breaks up with you, is definitely not worth your life…or taking the life of someone else. You’re going to find friends and relationships who will make you understand why it didn’t work out with this girl. God has great plans in store for you, and Him ending your life prematurely over some girl isn’t one of them. My inbox is open if you’d like to talk more about this situation in private. I’ve been through a lot of hurt and heartbreak and I’ve caused a lot of hurt in the past, as well…so I’ve got a little bit of experience in the dating game.

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Hey @Tucker,

I’m so sorry to hear about your relationship ending with your girlfriend. I believe that God works all things for the good of those who love Him. Even if seasons in life feel really crappy, remember that they’re happening for a reason, even if you can’t immediately see the reason. Maybe you thought that you were going to marry her, but God had different plans - in fact, he has someone more compatible for you in store. You’ll want to find a girl who will love God more than she’ll ever love you - there, the fruit of the spirit will be waiting for you. Patience is a virtue. My last relationship ended last January, and I thought I was bound for singleness. Last month, the girl of my dreams came out of NO WHERE. For all you know today you might be sad, but you might meet the love of your life tomorrow. :slight_smile: Keep your head up! We’re here for you if you need us.

-Eric

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