I find happiness in moments.
But when the moment is gone, what am I left with?
I feel empty or sad, anxious or mad. I feel unresolved. The problems still remain. Another one will pop up even if the other things get figured out. And then I’m back at square one, my hope for something brighter having been stolen once again.
And I keep searching for that next moment that I can hold on to. I keep searching for something that seems deceptively in sight but always just out of reach.
Changing my attitude won’t help. I don’t know how much more of this I can handle.
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You are left with the knowledge that moments of happiness will continue to occur. The problem with searching is that by doing so, you’re telling your subconscious that searching is your state of being, rather than discovering such moments as they occur.
You’re absolutely right, if you maintain the conviction that it won’t. It’s not unlike saying, “Nothing will stop me from being angry.” With that frame of reference, anything that may resolve the anger, won’t. Some self-fulfilling prophecies aren’t helpful.
Feeling unresolved, and negative emotions won’t go away, which is why it’s really important to be aware of the happy moments, and the opportunities to create them. Then the negative emotions are diminished for a while. Life consists of negative and positive experience. As you take time to appreciate the positive, the amount of positive experience available increases. If you dwell on the negative and tell yourself that life sucks, it’ll be far harder to experience happy times.
It is hard to handle negative emotions, especially when they seem to serve no purpose other than cause despondency and anxiety. I’m pretty sure you’re far stronger than you realize. It may be possible to “assign purpose” to those emotions. The purpose may take the form of conveying wisdom, tolerance, forgiveness, creativity and more.
I suffered a hellacious amount in early life, yet I’m still here, and okay with it. Most of my life was a cycle between periods of depression/anxiety and happiness/contentment. It might help to consider both the sad and happy times as “episodes.” That can help you keep in mind that the sad times will be intermittently absent, and the happy times will be intermittently present.
As time passes, and you are open to it, reasons to be happy will increase in number. If you look at the world through poop colored glasses, you will see poop. It’s best to wear glasses that don’t block the light.
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From: ManekiNeko
it’s hard to feel like things can feel better when life hits a place that feels stagnant. It feels like an endless loop of trying to find “joy” or “peace” and nothing satisfies, or at least not for very long.
Do you talk to anyone professional about those feelings?
I know it’s not always beneficial to force yourself to feel hopeful or pretend to be happy. It’s not a true reflection of how we feel, which is why sometimes it’s important to get to the bottom of WHY we feel that way.
Sometimes having someone who had that insight and experience to ask the right questions and make the right suggestions is so helpful and lifts a burden we place on ourselves to have to make that change all on our own. I hope you’re able to find a little bit of peace and rest from this. You deserve it
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Unfortunately I don’t have a professional I can talk to. I can’t afford a therapist/counselor or a life coach, and I’m not as religious as I used to be but I never did feel comfortable talking about things like this with a priest.
If I took the time to journal more, I feel like mediating on my issues in that way might help. But so much has been going on lately, especially in the last two weeks that I haven’t had the motivation to sit and focus on such things.
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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi Friend, Welcome back to the forum. I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much confusion right now. I know you’ve said you can’t afford therapy and I’m wondering if you’re in the States? Most states have laws that say if you meet their mental health criteria, you can receive free services. I’m in California and that’s what I’m doing. I have a psychiatrist and I’ve been thru a 2 month therapy program. You can call your Behavioral Health Dept for your county and check that out. Also, the United Way has a program called 211 that you can call. They have tons of recourses and you may find some help there too. I hope you can find some help. ~Mystrose
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From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, its good to see you, I am sorry that you are feeling this way. It is very hard to combat these feelings of sadness and anxiety that occur from seemingly nowhere all of the time. I understand that having any form of therapy costs money and that I find sould destroying coming from a place where you dont have to pay for it. I however would like to know what “you” think would help change things, what would you like to see happen in your life that would make it improve for you? would it be therapy? I hope that being here and knowing that you have friends, support and love for you does help in some way and that maybe you can find a way to get some free help. You are strong and worth every bit of effort it takes to find happiness. Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x
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Hello Mouse,
It is good to see you posting again since it has been a while. I believe that hope can be found in the places that we weren’t quite expecting to find it. Sometimes, we have to step out of our comfort zones & allow the hope that we are longing for…to come our way. I noticed that your love language is quality time. Maybe, you could find someone that you cherish & have some quality time with them. It might be something small, but it could help.
You will find hope again. I believe that with my whole heart. Keep fighting, warrior mouse! You are important. You are valid. You are enough. You are strong. You matter.
-StarFox 
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