Hard time dealing with rejection with women

[Metalskater1990]

Tonight I went to an open mic, I try talk to this woman, but she didn’t want anything to do with me.

1. I felt proud that I made the effort to talk to her. I’m too nervous of trying to talk to women. I know rejection is what is, but I still feel shitty about it. I hate feeling that creep her out or I felt that was too wired.
   But I’m trying not let the negative voices tell that feeling that I got rejection by her.

2. It suck the negative voices are saying shit about this person that don’t barely know. I have intense anger over her not talking me. It may be nothing personal, but still these fuck up emoitions. My ego is so weak, cause it hurt man. But I hate that I can’t handle like an adult and be cool with it.

[Wings]

You are handling it like an adult. Your emotions are intense, but you’re managing to process them without harmful consequences. The negative voices have no influence other than what you decided to give them. They may sound like they’re badgering you, but you can decide they have no more significance than passing clouds.

It can’t really be you that she rejected. She only saw a glimpse of your exterior, not what’s inside. It’s more likely she isn’t ready to deal with a relationship with anyone. Or, she may already have someone, or someone in mind.

People say I’m attractive, yet I was still rejected 9/10 times. I’ve only had two serious relationships, and I’m sure that a person with whom I’d be compatible is extremely rare. In fact, I have only found one after I was in my 40’s.

Anyway, I think rejection is business as usual, except once in a while, it isn’t.

The negative voices aren’t qualified to judge you. They aren’t even being honest with you. Inform them that they’re nothing more than a fart in a windstorm.

[SheetMetalHead]

I think it’s great that you had the courage to talk to her. I never had the courage to approach a woman at an event like that, even when I really wanted to. I feared rejection. Rejection hurts, but so does sitting on the sidelines and wishing you had the courage to just take a chance. Good job man.

[DiscordReply]

From: Who.is

rejection does sting. It stings when you get the courage to try something like talk to someone and they don’t respond in same! It’s okay to acknowledge your feelings as you have done. You handled yourself well. Don’t let one rejection be the catalyst for how you view yourself. You’re right that it’s nothing personal because she doesn’t know who you are as a person, but don’t be hard on yourself. Allow yourself to feel those feelings, but don’t let them break you.

[DiscordReply]

From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I know how hard it is to deal with rejection, I have BPD too. I just want you to know that rejection is a part of life for every single person on this planet. We all experience it on some level. With BPD we experience our emotions more extremely than others and it can trigger our rage as well. Remember tho that this person doesn’t even know you, so her decision to say no wasn’t because of you as a person. For some reason, she just wasn’t in a place to say yes. I’m proud of you for talking to her tho! ~Mystrose

[DiscordReply]

From: Rohini_868

Metalskater1990 ,
You have come so far in these posts, and I’ve seen such growth and progress in how you are able to express yourself.

It takes a lot of courage to approach someone, and yeah, when we’re turned down, it stings! It sucks to not get a positive response, but she’s not rejecting you. She doesn’t know you, so she’s not rejecting who you are as a person. Maybe she’s married or has a partner. Maybe she’s not into guys. Maybe her mental health is at a palce where she doesn’t want to engage with anyone new. This is just to highlight that she may have her reasons for turning you down that have nothing to do with you!

I’m proud of you for being able to recognize your feelings of anger at this response, and I know it will take a little while for it to dissipate.
But this is a normal part of life, it happens at some point to all of us. We all feel that ego-sting, you’re perfectly normal in feeling that way. The important thing is that you behaved properly after she said no. You didn’t harass her, or were mean to her. THAT is very important!!

[DiscordReply]

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post. I am proud of you too for talking to that woman as that was a huge thing to do and yes she turned you down and im sorry about that but you know that happens to everyone at some point and often more than once and its not because we creep people out its just that the person we are talking to just for one reason or another just doesnt gel with you or have had a bad day and the rejection you felt was perfectly normal, its normal to feel rejected, its not weak or pathetic. I dont think you need to get angry with yourself or her, give both of you some grace here. You have come so far, dont let one incident ge the better of you. Stay strong and positive and dont give up. You rock. Lisa. x

[SuperConductor]

It all comes down to self-love and self-acceptance.
The more inner work you do on yourself, the more grounded you will be.
Your energy will be attractive because your confidence overflows and you have something so wonderful to offer. If you approach a romantic interest with the mindset of taking, or entering her party. She may pickup on your self-doubt and believe that she has more value.

I just know that the greatest work you can do is your relationship with self.

There are 5 A’s that are vital for every relationship, especially your most important relationship with yourself.
Attention: I see you
Appreciation: I value you
Approval: I accept you
Affection: I love you
Allowing: I trust you

I suggest you try to look straight into your eyes in the mirror every day and say those 5 affirmations to yourself. And embody the feelings connected to them, not just the words.
You will feel an energy shift within a few days in how you carry yourself.

Take special note of the affirmations that are difficult to say to yourself, and truly mean them.
Then you can give special attention to that aspect.

Ultimately, your good healthy relationship with self, will become naturally attractive because you’re so grounded. And when you interact with others, they will feel that you’re giving generously of your abundant love. You will radiate positivity and send the message clearly that you’re not there to take from them, but you’re there to give and share your amazing vibes. You will truly believe that it’s THEIR LOSS if they choose not to be closer to you. Due to the fact that your presence would only enrich them and provide an uplifting interchange. The women are not a prize or a mere toy, or like a fish to catch. They are a beautiful individual that is also looking for exciting and healthy connections with others on their journey of life. Yes they can be very hot and intimidating, but keep reminding yourself they are just a human like you. And you must be prepared to find out that a stunning beautiful woman might actually be unkind and shallow, and only looking for a superficial connection. Your confidence and intuition will tell you that your value is too great, to beg and bow down and let yourself be treated poorly, just because she might be hot. This is where your self-love and truly knowing your value comes in.

Human connections can be very complex, and you have to be very keen reader of body language and signs for openness to connection.

All in all, please try my suggestions for the self-affirming statements, and most of all you are in the best position to attract true romantic connections if you are grounded in your self-love and esteem.
You don’t have to “catch” her, or “pick her up”. You just have to provide a taste of what it feels like to be in your presence and give her positive vibes that radiate from your healthy relationship with self!

All the best on your journey,