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Hard to let go of a friend

Last post did talk about this relationship, how create dark instense violence emotions in me. That honestly get very worry and my shadow is very dense. This friendship have been off and on for about 10 years. I had feeling for her, but it did not work out. However, I don’t know we friends either.

We only text very, very rarely, it like one or two words at the most. She up this week and she just get bailing on me. To fair she did have alot to do and I understand that. But I don’t felt appreciate.

However, I don’t why I can’t leave. I don’t If I’m sucking fucking fool and just brainwash. It gotten to point I feel insane, can’t tell the difference between fact from fiction. Don’t what is true love from a women or just a game. It also reason I have trust issue with females.

But thier was time she was caring ,she tell good things about myself. It was one closing relationship I ever had with a woman, we went to show( even was drama) we talk about personal stories. I did love spending time with her, she made feel alittle Normal . It hurt me that might been a lie.

People tell me to leave, which sucks obviously a logical thing to do, I can be fine without her. But fuck I don’t in someway I can or just insane. I think both are truth, yes she did use me , don’t want to hang with me, and she also did care about me as a friend.

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I think you’re right man. Her “not caring about you now” or bailing on you or being shady doesn’t have to discredit the meaningful relationship you guys have had in the past. She DID truly care. You mattered to her. She spent a lot of her life with you as her friend. Whatever her attitude is now doesn’t discredit that. Sometimes seasons change and people change and miscommunication happens and whatever. But it doesn’t invalidate the good and love you’ve received from her through the years. Certainly doesn’t invalidate who you are as a man, or someone who is worthwhile to be around. If she’s changed her heart, it would make sense, like you said, to let her go. Bless her, and the relationship you’ve had, and close the season choosing to remember the good times. When you create an empty void in your life, it actually gives you the opportunity to fill it with someone or something else that will have new love and new companionship to offer you. It will hurt for a season, as you know, but on the other side of the pain is hope. And you are worth that kind of reciprocal love. Take the leap, take the risk. You got this.

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From: Ash (Discord)

Metalskater1990 I am sorry you are struggling with this and this friendship. The desire to be friends with someone can really bring us down if they dont feel the same way. A friendship truly is not defined by how much you talk it is defined by the connection you feel. I recently had some of my best friends leave me for reasons that to me had not happened. Lies that were being spread and these where people who are like super close to me. I trusted them with a lot. I care about them deeply and supported them. Just because the friendship feels broken and painful at the moment doesnt mean it is over. You arent a fool or brainwashed just because you dont want to leave. To me it sounds like you want to have this friendship but arent sure where she sits. Have you talked to her about that. Sometimes we have to openly give what we want by asking them directly. Also dont see this as a door closing but rather a lesson you have learned and know now. Fight to remind yourself that what others around you have or what not doesnt define you at all or by any means. Only you can make the understanding of your value. Hold fast we are here

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From: Micro (Discord)

Hey friend! I’m so sorry that this relationship seems to slowly change in a way you didn’t expect. It seems that you’ve known each other for a very long time and have shared a lot of things together. However, unfortunately, relationships often change in ways we don’t necessarily want to. That doesn’t mean you are insane for being attached or feeling how you feel. That doesn’t mean what you’ve experienced together wasn’t true. It’s just possible that you slowly both started to be more distant, and with time the closeness you had started to fade away. It sounds that, right now, you feel in your guts that it might be better to slowly move on. That doesn’t make it easy or instant, but still your intuition might be right, and it’s important to listen to it. You’re not a fool for acknowledging that it’s hard to let go of a friend, because it is objectively hard. It takes time to close the chapter and put 10 years of a relationship as something that belongs to the past. But doing this will also allow you to open a new chapter on your own, and open new doors in your life. Give yourself time to to learn to let go, to give yourself grace, and to see that this situation doesn’t define you or your ability to be loved. <3