Since my dad stopped drinking he has been blaming me for all his problems. he keeps saying that I act like a child in a bad way because I keep forgetting to do somethings around the house. he also keeps saying that it’s my fault that I keep making myself feel like poop. he blames me everyday for his problems then snaps at me for it. For the first time in a long time I want to just commit suicide and end my life forever
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. What your father is doing to you is unfair. I know how hard it can be to feel as though you live in a war zone. It’s constant negativity in what is supposed to be your safe space. I spent a lot of time locked inside of my room or at friends houses when I was younger. Everything is not your fault and you have to remind yourself of that. You have to remind yourself that your father is the one with an issue, not you and do your best not to internalize what he’s saying, because his anger is displaced. He is most likely upset with himself and where he is in his own life. That life does not have to be yours and I would use it as fuel to be better. One day you will be free from that house and you will look back on this time and be thankful because it taught you what not to be and it made you stronger. Please do not end your life. There would be so many heartbroken people left behind. I am one of them. I want you to be here and to keep going and I know that you are strong enough to do that because I know the incredible strength it took for you to share your story here. You are brave. You are important. Your life is precious and purposeful. You can do this. I believe in you. ️
Hi there Ricky!
I’m sorry that your dad is blaming you like this. But just know that there is purpose for your life. You are not a failure, nor a mistake, nor a accident, nor a burden. You are enough, worthy, and amazing. Just the way you are. Stay friend, there is purpose, you are not made up of the things your father says to you. You are made by Love. You are not defined by what he says about you. You are enough.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to a trusted therapist, counselor, pastor, etc. About how your father is making you feel. That will help so much i feel.
Praying for you friend.
Sounds like your dad punches himself and points the finger at you…as you’re watching it happen, you’re literally like, “How?! What?! I’m way the hell over here what are you talking about?!” It makes you so frustrated because it’s literally not logical…it makes you crazy because his problems are his own and you know that, and half the shit he says is so freaking dumb, but at the same time, it still cuts…it feels so invalidating to your emotions…it feels like he’s saying you’re the problem, it’s all your fault, and you don’t matter to me…and that cuts so deep because even though he can be a piece of shit to you, he’s still your dad, and you just want him to say he loves you, that he believes in you, that he’s proud of you, that he’s for you. Man, I’m so sorry you’re in this spot of feeling so desperate to be loved and only receiving the opposite.
It’s not true, though, Ricky, and I know you know that but it’s important to name it…it’s NOT your fault – his problems are his problems, and it’s actually his problem for blaming you too! Your feelings are totally valid, and you’re not crazy. You matter, and you are loved, and you aren’t alone.
Hoping that the situation with your dad gets better, man. Worst case, you can always vent here…and we, as a community, can remind you and point you back to the truth. You are so worthy, bro.