Hating the Holidays

Since I got divorced 10 years ago the holidays have never been the same because my kids split their time with me and their dad. I have always been alone either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

Yesterday I laid on the couch with my dog and cried all day. I got up and came to work today. How can I cope with every person who stops by my office and asks “How was your Christmas?!” with a stupid smile on their face? It is all I can do to survive Nov & Dec every year. I can’t go out of town because of my kids or I would.

I have friends but they pressure me to be “festive” and criticize me when I don’t rise to the occasion. How can I make people understand that this is the worst time for me and just getting out of bed is a huge victory won? That no, i don’t choose to feel this way and it is crippling? That I would appreciate them not asking me what’s wrong and how was my Christmas?


I’m sorry you have such a hard time during the holidays :frowning: I really think you don’t need to be fake to your coworkers and friends, you deserve to be honest with your feelings and not try to pretend to be something you’re not. It’s ok to not be ok! Maybe if you are honest with them and just say you didn’t have a good holiday because it was hard for you they will leave you alone. Or maybe someone else is hurting too, they might be afraid to be open about their struggles and you sharing your feelings could really encourage them too


Hey LittleRed,

you’re are not alone with this situation!

there are many feeling the same, hating the holiday, being alone or have to fake a smile.

Its sure hard situation without your kids, but cant you talk with their dad? thay they be one 1 by him and 1 by you?

if friends dont understand, that you dont want to celebrate this days, in my opinion they are not realy friends.


Thank you. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way but it seems like I am in my immediate circle of people. We usually split the kids (who aren’t really kids anymore), but this year they went back East to see family so I was on my own Eve and Day. My family lives 500 miles away.

It’s just a lot of pressure. If I have the energy I will try to exercise or work on a hobby until i’m too tired to care, but yesterday was horrible and today I want to punch every idiot with a light-up sweater. LOL

Thank you for listening.


Hello, this is my first response on this site. I was also alone yesterday because of finances and life circumstance left me without my son as well. It was very hard but I know he was having a great day with his father and girlfriend’s family. They also live several hours away. I went for an exercise walk and enjoyed being alone at home doing what I wanted with the animals. Now on being at work with people who are too festive, I hate that too, just tell them “It wasn’t what I wanted but thanks for asking.” IMO I feel people need to speak up and say how they really feel instead of getting all caught up in making it fake. I can see how this can bring on the doom and gloom but if everyone knew that others were also feeling what they were, they probably didn’t have the holiday they wanted either but to save face they make things up too, and they may feel the same way you did but don’t want to bring down the house. I quit saying “I’m fine.” I say “I’m ok.” Meaning I’m here but I’m not going to share everything right now as to why I’m just ok. I find joy in knowing other people had a good time, like my son did. He misses me as much as I miss him but he also understands the circumstances.
I hope this made sense…